Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Few Letters.

Dearest Body -

Dude. I had NO IDEA how weak you are what you are capable of. No sugar, flour, or dairy for two days was insanely difficult. And all that YOGA. Man. You are all kinds of awesomeness.

{I don't judge you for insane chocolate cravings. And buying a bag of chocolate chips for no reason at all is perfectly reasonable, despite what your husband insinuates with his raised eyebrows. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'LL NEED CHOCOLATE, OKAY?}

Mwah,
Your Biggest Fan
.................................

Dear Hamstrings -

Blame Baron Baptiste.

Love,
Me.
.................................

Dear Baron Baptiste -

Holy ouch.

Ugh,
Ashley' Hamstrings.
.................................

My dear Trader Joe's -

I want to kiss you on the lips for creating Candy Cane Joe Joe's. PURE GENIUS.

Much love,
A Girl Who Loves Flour, Sugar, and Dairy More Than She Knew.

PS: Marry me.
.................................

Dear Mike -

Thank you for not loving Candy Cane Joe Joe's as much as me. And for getting excited for me as I was when I jubilantly pumped the Last Box (in the store) of Candy Cane Joe Joe's into the air. Sweet victory.

Literally.

Kisses,
Your chubby little wife.

PS: Thanks for letting me get that Mac.
.................................

Dear Gray Hairs -

Go away. I'm twenty four years old.

- A Youthful-Looking Blogger. {Just don't look too close, apparently.}
.................................

Dear Twitter -

I wouldn't know what's going on in the world if it weren't for you.

{And by that, I mean I wouldn't have known the Golden Globes are on.}

- Hopelessly Out-of-Touch with Pop Culture
.................................

Michael Cera -

You are adorable and Innocent and wonderful in Arrested Development.

If you weren't 14 at the time, and I wasn't married...

Sigh,
A Pathetic 24-year-old.
.................................

Dear Future -

I think you may be listening to me. Just to restate: I want to be a graphic designer and work part-time at Starbucks.

And have my nose pierced.

Ahem.

- Waiting with High Hopes.
.................................

Flight of the Conchords -

Why you gotta be so exclusive? Just because I can't afford HBO (or, uh, cable. period.) doesn't mean I don't love you two to pieces.

I say come to NBC. Wednesdays work for me.

- Girl Who Hums "It's Business Time" to Herself Regularly.

17 comments:

  1. Hahaha. Just got the Flight of Concords on dvd...no HBO either for us, phoey!

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  2. All those letters to your body? And your yoga instructor? I'm SO feeling that right now. Like you, I'm also fighting off my holiday cookie LOVES. It's bad.

    I hope you're having a lovely evening! All these letters make me smile!

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  3. mwahaha I love how you want to work part time at Starbucks. LOVE IT.

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  4. Oh man, you are so adorable! I wonder if I have grey hairs... I haven't seen my God given hair color in almost 10 years, so there's really no way of knowing. Probably better that way...

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  5. lol So sweet, you make me laugh.

    I'm the same way about Twitter - I've never watched awards shows and, due to everyone's amazing live blogging skills, I have even less need now!

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  6. you have been talking about these trader joe candy things forever. i seriously NEED to try them and see what all the fuss is about. can you spare one?

    heehee

    i wouldn't dare take one away from you though.

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  7. But, ummm... Wednesday is Business Time... On Tuesday they go to her Mother's... but Wednesday... conditions are PERFECT..

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  8. No sugar, flour, or dairy? sweetie, what did you eat?

    those are the main food groups in my life!

    a HUGE round of applause for you.

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  9. whew! i just checked out baron baptiste's website, and my hamstrings are sore just from reading it.

    muahah, and? twitter was totally how i found out the golden globes were on too ;)

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  10. I love these letters of yours! They are so fun and hilarious!

    Man, I cannot believe you gave up sugar, flour, or dairy for two days! While doing yoga! Wow, you're a miracle worker! I would die!

    I think Flight of the Conchords should def listen to you because I also really want to watch the new season and am lacking in the HBO department!

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  11. I was covering up my grays in college. I feel your pain. Down with the crazy old lady hair!

    PS - Twitter, what's that? Golden Gloves, I missed them? Can you believe there's someone a few steps behind you?!

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  12. I hear you on the no 'flour, sugar, etc.' thing.

    I've made a renewed effort to eat healthier this year, and let me tell you, there are only so many celery/carrot sticks and red pepper slices I can munch on before my brain is just screaming for chocolate!

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  13. What are candy cane Joe Joe's? I might have to go check those out. Images?

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  14. I love Flight of the Concords and am constantly humming It's business time!

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  15. Graphic design and part-time Starbucks employee? Have I told you lately that you're a woman after my own heart? Because that just sounds PERFECT.

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  16. you are hilarious. Also, is it bad that I am not any more fit than I was at Christmas?

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