Thursday, June 18, 2009

Just Call Me Chandler...

I'm in the midst of a lot of transition and decisions this week with being hired for a new job, signing the contract, and looking at a billion duplexes to find a place to rent. It's so exciting, but also a bit stressful. And after three different jobs (for me, Mike's had about four!) and three different places in less than two years of marriage, I'm afraid change will be the norm for us.

It occurred to me - accepting a job and renting an apartment are kind of like getting married after one date. (Sometimes two.)

When you tour an apartment or go for an interview, you don't get to poke and prod and see the less-presentable side of things. You don't imagine how it will look when it's messy. You don't think about how it will feel on a Monday to drag yourself to work.

What if we rent an apartment and realize that the closets are terrible, or the kitchen drawers don't open, or there's a stain we didn't notice on the floor?

What if my work will expect me to work 80 hours a week and my boss will be much meaner than she seemed? And a cubicle will start to look appealing again.

Everyone always laughs at me when I tell them I have a commitment problem, since I'm happily married. But I'm the girl who, when everyone else responded with a cute little "teacher!" or "graduate school!" in their future plans questionnaire, replied:
"I have too many career goals for one lifetime - including freelance graphic designer, independent craft artist, campus minister/exploring social justice with students, teaching computer technology and graphic design at a high school, opening a coffee shop, and being a mother. Only slightly ambitious."
Yeah, I think this may be an issue.

16 comments:

  1. Sometimes I wish I had one little career path, but other times I enjoy the constant reevaluation and figuring out how many things I can do in this one life. Good luck with all new beginnings!

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  2. Haha, I'm definitely the same way! I am only commitment-phobic when it comes to career and, well, everything else except for my people-relationships :) I'm just now finally starting to commit to a career path, but admittedly it's one with MANY options within itself, which is good for my commitment-phobia. And I think non-commitment is great as long as you are a) finding time to do what you love and b) also getting somewhat reliable income. It seems like you are able to do both, so way to go!

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  3. Hmm I think I know the feeling, although I'm very much still in the transition of finding out where I'm going. Still, it does sound exciting - I'm excited for you just by reading about it!

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  4. Oh, and I've just been looking at social justice with my Bible study students!

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  5. We worried about that with our house. Like, were we looking at it with rose-colored lenses and when we moved in would we discover huge problems we'd had no idea about? But of course it didn't happen that way, thanks in part to a very thorough inspection.

    At least with a job you can negotiate even once you've accepted it. If your boss turns out to have unreasonable expectations, I'm sure there is someone you'll be able to discuss it with. You know?

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  6. Wow, that sounds incredibly familiar. First of all, regarding your apartment sitch, let me just tell you that I think you should be allowed to spend 2 nights in your apartment prior to signing a lease. If this were the case, I'd never be living in my crappy apartment that's RIGHT over a major city bus route and several popular bars. Basically, I get to sleep from 3 to 5 in the morning (after the drunkies make their ways home and before the buses start rolling down the street). Sigh.

    About the career thing, it's okay to want to do everything. It shows your curious, well-rounded, and passionate about a variety of industries.

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  7. You're so cute--and so right!! If a job or apartment/homeowners wants you, they will do everything they can to make their offering seem like the perfect match. I suppose this is where those little leaps of faith come in. And I love that our generation doesn't feel shackled by commitment to jobs they hate like I think previous generations did. Do what you love, revel in the change, and most of all GOOD LUCK!!!

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  8. Its good to have so many things available to you isnt it? Lifes too short, exploring all the options should be mandatory.

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  9. I'm exactly the same way.

    I EXHAUST every single option until the very end. It's so hard for me to commit to really "big" or important things that I have to make certain that I am 250% sure.

    Good luck and congrats on all of the changes!

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  10. It's good to have goals... If you want it, you can have it!

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  11. I wish I could have dated my job. Me and my job are filing for divorce soon. We're currently estranged former lovers.

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  12. haha! We just did that with our new rental house. After we moved in we found out the toilet is on a significant lean to the left. I mean WHO sits on a toilet during a 15-min rental inspection?

    But it's just a laughing matter now. We're used to it and guests get a bit of a shock.

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  13. I so wish we could just go out for coffee, I'm going through the beginning stages of this process and those worries about culture and how you can't really know how things will be until you're there is taking up a lot of my energy. It all seems like such a dice roll, exactly like getting married after a first date.

    You've been so luck lately though, I'm sure this will shake out exactly how you need it to. You seriously just seem like a ray of sunshine, I can't imagine how the world would give you anything less than exactly what you need and want =)

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  14. I was going to write a post about the same thing...there are entirely too many things that I really, really want to accomplish. I never thought of myself as that type of person, but all of a sudden, I find myself completely drowning in a sea of, "Ooooh! I want to do THIS, too! Yesss!"

    It's an issue. But, hey. At least we're motivated, eh? :) And I totally get the commitment issue thing, too - it IS like getting married after one date! Gah!

    And best of luck with the duplex! Way better than apartments. I'm a fan of ours.

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  15. I hear ya Ashley. People call me the Nomad or a wanderer. I moved some many times, nobody knew my address. I was equally adventurous/bored at the office. I am slowly settling down now. Slowly.

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  16. Ha, I am SO with you. My ambitions list includes: see the world, teach ESL, become a yoga instructor, open a card shop, take photography lessons, start a magazine, and be a stay-at-home (work-from-home) mother. Oh, and any school you could throw in there would be fun too - I miss classrooms.

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