Monday, March 1, 2010

2am Bowls of Reese's Puffs, Monopoly Junior, and Perspective.

Mike left this Saturday for an eight-day trip to Chicago for work. He was in Chicago the week before that for four days for an interview. And a few weeks, I'll be leaving for three days. At the risk of sounding whiny, I miss him. I am quite independent, so I appreciate the alone time - but it's just odd not seeing Mike in the mornings and cuddling as I fall asleep (that is, until he tells me he's getting claustrophobic and needs space. Does this make you think of the "hug-and-roll"? If so, let's be friends.). I like having him around. I like eating dinner together while we enjoy the hilarity that is Freaks and Geeks. I like teasing him about using the bathroom too long in the morning. I like kissing him goodbye. I like sharing my day with him when we get home. I like hearing him next to me when I wake up in the middle of the nights. I like being able to stretch my legs until my feet meet his under the covers. It's comforting.

After he left, I drove down to my parents and enjoyed a day of eating lunch with grandparents, cousins, and aunts, catching up with my little sister (who had a Serious Talk with me about why we should move to their little city instead of Chicago. She's really just looking out for our best interests. This has nothing to do with the fact that she is planning to be our unborn child's live-in nanny. Really.), watching four episodes of Project Runways on their DVR, playing entirely too much Wii Fit, winning a game of Monopoly Junior (the superior Monopoly, for sure) and dying my little brother's hair. I also talked with my parents a bit about the baby, our plans, and money worries. It's comforting to know they've so been there with all of this. Except that they were twenty, newly married, and without college degrees when they found out they were pregnant with me. That would be enough to give me a serious ulcer.

Today marks six months from my *official* due date. Just six months ago, I was getting used to my new job, its longer hours, and the accompanying overwhelm that came with it. That seems like yesterday. Six months seems really, really short. Holy wow.

My belly is bigger, noticeably sticking out, though I estimate about 80% of it is chub. And it still brings me nausea. Not daily, but the whole "I'm hungry! No, I'm nauseous! Eat! NOW! OR I WILL BARF!" routine gets old. Especially when I've woken up in the middle of the night for the past three nights needing to eat. At least I didn't have to bother Mike as I padded out to the kitchen at two in the morning, poured myself a bowl of cereal, and climbed into bed to read twenty pages of my book.  Ahh, the glamor that is pregnancy. (Secretly, though? I'm sort of fascinated by my body right now. Total navel gazer, you know?)

I also had a much-appreciated moment of clarity and gratitude today. This afternoon, as we walked out to the school bus to take the students to their tutoring service, a twenty-something stopped my coworker and they chatted for a while. When my coworker came on the bus, she told me, "She applied for the job you have."

She went on to tell me what a fabulous individual she was when she was a student there - and was visibly regretful they could not have offered her something. (Not that I think she was regretful they hired me in any way - she has just told me before there were many qualified candidates for my position.) It took me aback - I think sometimes I take for granted how lucky I got to land this job. I may complain about long hours or struggle with the commute - but on a day like today, when I spent three hours hanging out 17-year-olds talking about everything from being a vegetarian and nuclear disarmament activists to parents and school, then got to see adorable first graders at the tutoring program, I'd say I've lucked out as far as day jobs go.

I needed that perspective.


  1. I remember "I'm hungry! No, I'm nauseous! Eat! NOW! OR I WILL BARF!" but by the time anything I made was ready, I wasn't hungry for it anymore.

  2. I'm similar in that I'm pretty independent and love my alone time, but I always miss Matt when he's not home for a few days. I can understand that- plus, 8 days is a long time!

    And finding that kind of clarity is fantastic. I find that it's really easy to get caught up in the daily life struggles we experience, but paying attention to the good stuff? Well, it's just much more fun. We should all do it a bit more often.


  3. bowls of reese's puffs sound like heaven. now, I will be thinking about them for the rest of the night.

  4. I was totally thinking about the hug and roll as I was reading that then busted out laughing for way too long when you mentioned it.

  5. i think its human nature, even if you are independent. I cn go weeks not hangingout with the fiancee (hanging out iwht our own friends, working ect) but if he wasnt in bed at night... id miss him.

    Also we should be friends becuase not only does that me think of the hug-and-roll *I* actually employ it. Im the ew sticky stop touching me one in the relationship. But I laugh and think of friends *almost* every night.

  6. Wait. You're coming to Chicago for three days? Let's meet up :)

  7. Ha, the hug & roll. Made me laugh out loud because I know just what you're talking about. I wonder if someone has ever hugged and rolled me!?

    I'm glad that you got the perspective you need and hopefully Mike will be back in no time to shower you with cuddles and kisses!

  8. I don't think you're whiny in the least. You love your husband, and biologically speaking, you need him, and you're probably recognizing that even more now. I miss my husband when he's gone so much more now than when we were first married. I miss him more now when he leaves for a few days than I did when he'd leave for 6 months. We grow to depend on each other. I think it's lovely.

    I'll admit, having witnessed two friends recently go through the final few months of pregnancy, I'm terrified of it, but I've always liked the idea of being pregnant. I think I would probably be a navel-gazer too :)

  9. Haha, "I'm hungry! No, I'm nauseous! Eat! NOW! OR I WILL BARF!" that's the only thing I'm NOT looking forward to one day :)

  10. Being lucky to be where you are doesn't actually make it easy to be where you are. But it is wonderful that you can appreciate the good things and the opportunities too. :)

    I have to admit that I like having the house to myself some nights if J goes snowboarding our out with friends, but I am prone to missing him too.

  11. I drank illegal amounts of Tang when I was pregnant - but haven't had a glass since my baby boy was born :) Jenny

  12. This blog is great! Quickly falling in love with your writing, and I adore the layout.


    Hannah Katy

  13. I feel the exact same way when Chris leaves for the weekend with Scouts or on their week-long summer trips. I enjoy alone time a lot - it's a necessity for me. But life's just better with him there.


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