Monday, May 10, 2010

The Dos and Don'ts of Small Talk with Pregnant Women.

Since getting pregnant, sharing the news with family, friends, and co-workers, and, now, looking quite pregnant – I’ve gotten my fair share of comments and well-meaning advice about pregnancy and parenthood. Sometimes it makes my day, other times…well, not so much.

“I have to ask you something: Are you wearing regular jeans?”
“Nope!” I happily pull up my shirt to reveal awesome full panel of stretchy stuff, “Gap makes the BEST maternity jeans!”
“Well, you just look SO good. So small.”
I practically floated out of Trader Joes.

“Mother-to-be….?” I smile and nod. “Well, happy Mother’s Day!”

“You will be a great mother. Your baby is so lucky.”

“Babies are so much fun. You will just love it!”

“You are the cutest pregnant lady ever.”

“I’d do it all again.”

“How far along are you?”
“About five months.”
“Wow. You look GREAT.”

“You and Mike will make adorable children.”

“I think it’s better to have a family before you completely establish yourself. I think we had it all wrong- you don’t have to have your career and a house and everything in place before having a baby. Do it now while you’re young and CAN. It’s good to grow up together.”
Good. Because, uh, that’s totally what we’re doing.

“I’m so excited for you.”

“What a perfect time of year to have a baby! It will be nice out for another month or two, so you won’t feel cooped up. You can take the baby for walks without bundling him up and he can stare up at the leaves.”

“Sleep now! You will NEVER SLEEP AGAIN. OMFG@*%$**(@$%!!!”

“I remember rocking the baby at night, realizing I had to get up for work in two hours and just crying I was so tired.”

“I went seventeen days past my due date.”

“I remember praying, ‘Please keep me from throwing this baby at the wall,’ when he just wouldn’t stop crying.”

Various versions of: “You will be SO HOT this summer,” or “You’re due in August? UGH.“
I’d rather be wearing less clothes than wearing chunky sweaters over my already big body, okay? Let’s work on being more positive, friends.

“Just wait. You feel good now but this is the best time of your pregnancy.”
Yes, thank you, I like to anticipate being miserable.

“Eat while you can. Later you will have no room in your stomach and you’ll have to pee constantly and get heartburn and never sleep.”
Seriously. In what way do these people think they’re doing me a favor by projecting their miserable pregnancies on me? LET ME ENJOY IT.

"You have no idea what you're in for."

I’m sure I’m not the only one to have been on the receiving end of both delightful and downright scary small talk. Do share. (Or, just rejoice with me that my jeans fooled a Trader Joe’s cashier into thinking they were NORMAL JEANS. Seriously. This is glorious and will probably sustain me for the next month or two, at least. The jeans are now on sale and I'm tempted to buy another pair just because they're that awesome. Yes, me, the cheapskate girl who previously had never spent more than $40 on a pair of jeans.)
blog comments powered by Disqus