Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Indulge Me For a Moment as I Whine

I had envisioned this a primarily environmentally focused blog (HA! Blog! that word is still really funny to me. It's so hard to take blogs seriously. Blob. Booger. Flog. So many things the word "blog" reminds me of.) ANYWAY. I wanted this to be mostly "green tips" from my experiences and stay out of the overly personal arena. (Of course, talking about my TP habits kind of negated that...And I'm also working up the courage to talk about even more TMI environmental stuff. Just...not ready quite yet.) But things in my personal (work) life have been SO tumultuous lately that I just can't focus on anything else. Plus, I'm the kind of girl who is an open book - I wear my heart on my sleeve and share everything I'm thinking and feeling. There is no disguising. Bursting out into tears when asked "What's wrong?" or "How's it going?" after something awful is not totally uncommon for me. If I'm really upset, it's hard for me to fake happiness.

You guys, for the first time in my life, I cried at work today.

My work environment is challenging, to say the least. We have the most diverse atmosphere you could ever dream of - age, race, education level, ideology, background, and gender. I wish I could say that we're an oasis in a desert of racial tension and conflict. But we so are not. There is a negativity that crushes our friendliness. Judgemental coworkers waiting for you to fail (and sometimes giving you the extra push to make sure you do so). Add to the mix the fact that we work with kids and their families, and oh man! Do you have a recipe for misery. My coworkers have the ingenious idea to use parents and children to make staff look bad:"Let's turn everyone against So And So! We're so powerful! Hahaha! I love to see those women cry!"

Yep. But this isn't the first time I've cried because of work. Last night, in fact, I started to cry as I left work. By the time I got to my car, tears were streaming down my face. I've come crying to Mike more times than I can count. In fact, in the past several months - the only times I have cried have been because of work (Oh, and Star Wars. Shut up. I was just sad for Natalie Portman. The father of her freaking children turned evil. You would cry, too!). My coworkers make me feel absolutely and totally inadequate.

...My boss just walked in and told me he had advice, "Never be a leader."

Not because he thinks I couldn't be a leader, but because he has the hardest job in the world. Leading people who refuse to change. I'm not just talking about some womanly gossip, coworkers with annoying habits, or silly office politics. I have never met anyone who works in a work climate like I do.

A girl who talks too loudly? A man who comes in 10 minutes late every day? That's all you got?!

Seriously, though. PLEASE tell me any and every work story nightmare. I desperately need something to cheer me up and/or make me laugh. Yes, I want to LAUGH at your MISERY. Or at least not feel so crappy in mine.

(I also have The Office to look forward to. It had BETTER BE GOOD. That's all I can say. Especially with all this pressure of a spin off show. Geez.)


  1. I am so sorry about your stressful enviornment at work.

    About a week before I left my last job I passed a sign on the door of an office that said this:

    To Whomever took the little blue umbrella from this very spot:

    It does not belong to you, I DO NEED it and stealing is wrong. If you donot return I will press charges.

    Seriously? Wow! They even printed it out and bolded and underlined many times! Hilarious!

    That's what I got unfortunately my job strongly resembled yours and it was more sad than funny.

    Hope it gets better!

  2. I used to work during the summer in an office with 2 very nice women, and 1 extremely rude woman, B, with a skewed view on everything. When our boss would leave the office B would say "she might be the 'boss' but this is MY office and I control everything that happens here." Her oldest daughter was 2 years younger than me and all I heard about was how her daughter was smarter, prettier, and generally better than me & how she would get her choice at any college in the state. I would just smile and nod. Then her daughter got pregnant 3 months before high school graduation and I got to see sonogram pictures and hear about how the daughter was choosing something more important than school.

  3. Oh, Ashley, I'm sorry.

    I'm in the middle of a career change (grad school) because I have got to get out of this place. There was a merger a year after I started there, and it's been crazy ever since. Throw in a couple of slackers playing the race card--and oh yes they ended up in my department--prompting a "be nice" lecture on Halloween (of all days), and it's miserable.

    I posted about discovering *snot* on my work today. Please start laughing now.


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