The One With the Interview

8:02 – Wake up, surprisingly bright eyed and bushy tailed.
8:05 – Do a little yoga in the hallway, and then go annoy little sister who’s in bed.
8:15 – Fix myself a lovely cup of coffee with caramel sauce. It’s pretty heavenly, you should try it.
8:33 – Cousins arrive at parents’ house – they are boys, 8 months and 16 months old.
8:40 – Arms get tired of holding 8 month old, find a big bag to sling over my shoulder and put him in. Ahhh…that’s much better.
8:45 – Happily checking blogs and getting directions with baby on lap. See, I could handle having child!
8:47 – Baby spits up all over me. No child in near future.
8:52 – Place baby in bouncy seat thingy, resume internet addiction.
9:42 – Landscape architect arrives at parents’ house, sits down at table with parents to begin consultation.
9:45 – Boys beginning crying, playing banging on musical instruments, and/or screaming. Promptly whisk them away to an upstairs bedroom and attempt to distract them with Veggie Tales.
9:48 – Not. Working. No interest in TV. (Seriously! Like, none.)
9:52 – 16 month old sees my parents outside and insists “Go owside!”
9:53 – For the next 20 minutes. I throw him at my little sister and go find my husband.
10:22 – Oh, should I start thinking about leaving? Ack! Shower! Hair!
10:49 – Oh em gee, these two shirts I bought look AWFUL. What was I thinking?! I don’t look professional.
10:55 – Hate self. Hate clothes. Will probably fail interview.
11:02 – Wait! Let’s raid little sister’s closet.
11:13 – Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. That’s what you get for trying to wear a 15-year-old’s clothing to an interview.
11:16 – Reach near hysterics over NOTHING. TO. WEAR. when husband suggests Target. Ahh, Target. The thought of Buy Nothing briefly crosses my mind. I then crush that thought in my anxiety.
11:29 – Frantically searching for professional shirts, then frantically trying them on, then frantically choosing one, then frantically checking out. Even the cashier remarked, “I can tell you’re in a hurry.”
11:45 – Leave Target.
11:50 – Begin practicing interview questions aloud, feel confident. I will dominate. I am the best.
12:07 – Arrive in neighborhood of interview, begin hyperventilating.
12:15 – Find building. Oh, it’s pretty. How nice.
12:16 – Decide to find Whole Foods so I can get something to eat, since we have 45 minute.
* spend 30 minutes getting incredibly lost, anxiously snapping at husband, and with a growling stomach*
12:48 – Arrive at building again, commence hyperventilating.
12:49 – Tell Mike I’m “not going in this early!” I want to be early, but not obnoxious, you know?
12:50 – Pray with Mike.
12:52 – Take a deep breath and walk up…
12:54 – Not nervous anymore. This guy is really nice.
2:02 – They had 70 applicants and interviewed 5. FIVE. I’m awesome.
2:05 – Really? That much money? Nice.
2:11 – Their top choice is a girl with a Masters and 2 years of experience. I’m screwed.
2:16 – Done! Yay! I rocked! Let’s go to Whole Foods and stuff our faces with a blueberry scone and Mediterranean pizza*. Kthx bye.

*Oh, and Ashley, please could you get us lost for OVER AN HOUR before we find the highway to go home.

I declared that if I get this job, I will be purchasing a GPS. Actually, I’m getting one no matter what. Just wait till April is over. That GPS is gonna save our marriage. Anyone have a GPS they can recommend?