Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Story.

It was a gorgeous day. We were taking the kayaks out on the water on a "double blind" date. :) (aka: a double date - us and a blind date). The sun was shining, the water was cool and clear, and we were enjoying ourselves.

After a few hours on the water, we carried the kayaks back up to the trailer. M. ,the other girl, and I were carrying two of the boats. The boats were HEAVY and the plastic handles were digging into my hands, made especially painful by my rings on both my ring fingers. Before we climbed some really steep stairs, I asked her to stop so I could remove my rings and place them in my pockets. I was extra careful to place them in, because I have a huge fear of taking off my rings in a public place.
We went to the trailer, the boys emptied the water out of the kayaks and loaded them on the trailer. We got ready to get in the van, so I took my rings out of my pockets and...

"Uh. We have a problem. A major problem. I don't have my engagement ring."

It was only 10 minutes after I removed the rings, only a few dozen yards away from where I'd removed them. Surely we could find it, right?

The four of us spent an hour scouring the path, the parking lot, the grass, the steps. But to no avail. Mike said he wouldn't leave until he found it. To be honest, at first I wasn't even sad. I was more scared at how mad Mike would be. I'm KNOWN for losing things (if you know me, you're nodding at this point). Mike and I have talked many times about how the engagement ring is my most valuable possession, and Mike has made it known how upset he'd be if I lost it.

Tim and I left to take the kayaks back and to search for a place to rent a metal detector. Mike stayed to look at the river. (It was at this point I left my panicky Twitter message.)

After about 30 minutes, I'd tracked down a rental place, and went to go see if Mike had found it yet. I drove up to the parking lot, afraid and anxious. I'd hoped he'd found it - but was afraid he'd be angry with me if he hadn't. He walked up to the car, shaking his head.

It started to sink in. I got out of the car and hugged him, starting to cry. "Sorry" didn't seem appropriate. He held me, telling me, "It's just a thing. It sucks, but it's not our love - it's just a sign."
I was floored. Mike had taken a second job at a bagel shop, working at 5am before he had to go to his other job, to pay for that ring. It was a huge purchase for him, and he was so proud of it. I'd have to expected him to be so angry he wouldn't speak with me.

Instead, he was promising me he'd replace it with a fantastic ring for our 10 year anniversary (because, let's be honest, we're not going to be able to afford one anytime soon.)

Later in the night, after we'd gone out to a Korean-Japanese restaurant and enjoyed some gelato, I felt a wave of overwhelming sadness. The ring Mike had specially designed and ordered for me, the ring he'd proposed with, the ring that had been my feeling of security in our many months apart, the ring he'd worked so hard's gone. I have a habit of spinning my ring around my that habit is a sad reminder.

We were apart for most of our engagement, and looking at that beautiful ring made me feel secure and as though Mike was with me. So many times, I admire the sparkle and thought of Mike's love.

It's silly to go through stages of grief for a ring, because I'm so not the kind of person who ascribes tons of value to material possessions. But after denial, I'm now sad.

It's frustrating, because I just have NO IDEA when my ring could have been dropped or could have fallen out of my pocket. We've come to the hesitant conclusion that one of the many people around the river found a diamond ring and picked it up. (Maybe they'll turn it in? But if you saw four people walking around looking at the ground, wouldn't you *know* they were looking for something??)

...I'm planning on looking around for it - pawn shops? I don't know where or how to start, but I'm not giving up. (Do people file police reports for these kind of things?)

But even if I never find the ring, I still have my amazing husband. And that's pretty great. My wedding band is simple and plain - just a band of white gold. It suits me perfectly. Most girls want a diamond-studded ring, but I'm happy with my simple little ring.


  1. Oh no!! Maybe you'll find it. When I was younger, I remember running errands with my mom and sisters. We lived on a farm miles from nowhere, so "running errands" was an all-day event that involved more than one city.

    As we were sitting at a special pizza place (I think my mom had bribed us to be good), I noticed that the diamond in her ring was gone. I remember being so sad for her, and I remember her trying not to panic. We told the owner what had happened, and he promised to keep an eye out for it.

    We'd been EVERYWHERE that day. Literally miles and miles had been covered.

    When we got home, my grandma called and told my mom that she'd found the most curious thing. She was sweeping her kitchen floor and noticed something sparkly and picked it was MY MOM'S DIAMOND!!

    What are the odds?

    So, I know how sick you feel...but you're right. The important part is there with you, and who knows? You may find your ring after all...

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your engagement ring. I hope that it finds its way back to you soon.

    I am paranoid about my engagement ring too. I didn't even wear it on our honeymoon-we took a cruise and I was not about to lose it in the Caribbean. Next month we are going to Las Vegas for a family vacation and I don't think I'm wearing it then either.

  3. Oh, my goodness. While reading this I could just feel your panic - I've had that rush of, "Ohmigosh. Where did I leave my ring? Were? WHERE?" sooo many times. Luckily, my absentmindedness (if that's actually a word) hasn't yet gotten the best of me. Yet.

    I truly hope yours turns up! Your sense of loss has nothing to do with you being materialistic. There's so much emotion tied to an engagement much significance. So, I don't blame you for being sad.

    What an incredible guy you have, though, to reassure you that it's just a thing - and not making you feel bad for something you had no control over.

    Do you ever read She was at the beach one day and lost the diamond ring her hubby got for her when she had their son. She FLIPPED out and looked on the beach for hours, even finally rented a metal detector. She eventually found it buried under a whole heap of sand, and she had no idea how it possibly was down that deep.

    So, there is still hope for you and your lovely ring - I really hope it turns up!

  4. Oh gosh.. I really hope you're able to find it.

  5. Gasp! Ohmygoodness! I am so sorry! I would definitely check pawn shops, and I would also call the police department and see if you can file a report. If someone turns it in at least you'll have a way to verify. "I'm so sorry" doesn't really seem to cut it, but I truly am feeling a knot in my stomach over your loss.


  6. gahh. omg i am so sorry. i dont have an engagement ring (though, let's be honest here, i desperately want one) but somehow i can completely feel your pain. as i read this i felt a pit in my stomach. you have every right to be sad- heck, i am sad for you. i am going to think happy thoughts for you- i REALLY hope you get it back somehow!

    ps- how did the blind date go for the other couple?

  7. Gosh how sad!! I'm sure you will find it, you have to! Don't you hate how you are like I only went from here to here. How can it be lost?

    On a side note, kayaking?? that's awesome!

  8. usually you end those stories with... "and then i found it under my bed 3 weeks later" or "and then someone emailed me to say they had my ID card after i lived for 2 weeks off of pudding packs and cereal." at least we have matching wedding rings. and yes, do file a police report. and see if your renter's insurance will cover it. and call the park center (or wherever you are) and make a report. glad you're keeping your head up.

    ps= mike is a keeper. i like him.

  9. Oh hon, I am so sad for you!! That is one of my greatest fears, and I'm so sorry it happened to you :( I still have a strong feeling that it will turn up again, and even if it doesn't, I think you learned something really great about how truly amazing your fiance is. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!!

  10. Aw, sorry about that! Your hubby is a sweetie. I said a prayer to St. Anthony that it will turn up. Here's a hopeful story: A co-worker lost her engagement ring, couldn't find it anywhere, and her husband got a her a replacement. A *year* later it turned up in a *file folder* in the office. You just never know.

    P.S. I love kayaking AND white gold.

  11. Oh Ash. I am SO VERY SORRY. I am literally crying for you. I know how much it meant, but for Mike to be so understanding shows how lucky you are to have such a fantastic man in your life. Some people never get two great things in their life like a ring and a great husband. You got both and you were left with the better of the two.


  12. Ashley, I'm so sorry. I really hope it pops up somewhere!

  13. Also, am huge dork. Husband, not fiance--I'm having a spacey day! ;)

  14. Oh dear, I saw your Tweet yesterday and now reading your post I feel just sick for you. I'm so sorry but I'm glad Mike had an okay reaction it and you're looking on the positive side. I hope it turns up.

  15. my heart hurts for you right now. hurts.

    i'm so sorry you are going through this right now.

    here's a story for you. my cousin lost a ring in the ocean on summer. distraught and said (it was her grandmothers) she gave up looking for it. the next day we were in the same beach area playing around and my cousin felt something on her big toe. it was the ring. what are the odds??

    i pray something like this happens to you. i still think you should go rent a metal detector!

    im sorry again ashley.

  16. Oh man, I am so sorry for you--of course it's just a thing but it's one of those rare and few SPECIAL things. I hope it turns up--you might try looking for it on Craigslist or eBay too. And you're SURE it's not in your pockets?! You know it's amazing how many nooks and crannies there are in pockets these days; I'm sure you've already checked them thoroughly, but you never know :) Hang in there--I hope hope hope you find it!

  17. How awful!!!

    Did you have insurance on it? If not, I definitely would the next time around.

    BTW, you are absolutely RIGHT about not having to have the big ring, it's about the man you are marrying not the ring on your finger. Too many females get caught up in the ring and the wedding and forget the purpose behind all of it!

  18. Oh gosh. That is horrible. I really hope that it turns up. But you're right. You still have each other and you still have your band.

    You may find it. I'll be hoping for the best.

  19. Awe. I hope more than anything you find it.
    You have such a perfect man though, reassuring you it's okay? That is amazing.
    Good luck!

  20. I am sooo sorry.. I feel horrible for you! But I will keep hope that you will still find it.. I think you and your hubby both have a positive attidue about the situation.. And hey - a bigger diamond to come, not too bad..

    But I know it's sad for you - I will keep you in my thoughts and pryaers that somehow you may find it! Love you!!

  21. Casual Perfectionist: What a story!! Maybe mine WILL pop up...who knows?

    Mrs. P: Wow, you're cautious...I could learn from you! haha

    Wishcake: I'm so absentminded. I take my rings off at home all the time to do dishes and stuff -- but never in public. BIG MISTAKE. Learn from me!

    I do read Whoorl...and because of you guys, I decided to rent a metal detector after all. No luck. :( Booo.

    Deutlich: Thanks, me too.

    Heidikins: Thanks for the commiserating! Taking your advice, I DID call the police department. *fingers crossed*

    Crystal: Haha, I'm sure you'll get one soon! :) The blind date was...okay. The girl was a little stand-offish (aka: I don't see a future there), but we still had fun!

    Steph Corwin: Yes! I dooo hate that feeling. How annoying! (To understate it...) Kayaking was freaking awesome. I LOVED IT.

    Eileen: You made me laugh. :) I did lose my ID like a bajillion times. I hope this turns up, too....

    Wickedly Scarlett: I have an amazing husband. It's true. (haha -and by the way, you have a right to be spacey!!)

    Kate P: I hope it just turns up. SO BAD. C'mon, St. Anthony!!

    Tipp: That is just so sweet I don't know what to do with myself. I am blessed. (Not lucky, blessed...)

    Jamie: Thanks, me too!!

    Bayjb: I had a period of being really sad, but now I'm just annoyed and resigned. C'est la vie.

    Alexa: That is INSANE. I want to have a story like that. How cool would I be!? Cool.

    Callina: I've started looking on craigslist...I don't even know what I would do if I saw it on there. Probably freak out.

    Auburn Kat: Insurance...nope. We have nothing valuable except our car, so we have no insurance to speak of. Oops. Next time around... (especially with my absentminded track record!) And thanks for being with me on the big ring. We're right. ;-)

    Ashley: Ugh, right?! At least I'm still married! And I still have a ring! I just need perspective - worse things could have happened!

    Heartbreaker: I know - He's great. :)

    Dana: Thanks, sweetie. You're awesome!

  22. omg, this is horribly sad! what a good hubby you have with his reassuring words. so sweet.
    i'm sorry tho, i just can't imagine, i hope it turns up somehow.


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