Friday, November 28, 2008

POOP ON A LOG

I bet that got your attention. If it didn't you are as hyper as a kid who has ingested 9 banana splits without the banana, has seen the latest action flicks, and it is of course his birthday as he gazes at his new lego collection with loving eyes.

Enough with that rant, anyways I am doing this post because I stole my sister's laptop. (I'm the only boy in the family. In 8th grade.) And I was bored.

I am still utterly convinced that this "laptop" is a beautiful, aesthetically pleasing, well-crafted machine. The second your finger has the unfortunate duty of pushing the power button however, the nice world of ponies and tree willows is transformed into an excruciatingly terrible place, accurately dubbed, "Multi-Tasking Hell". So far I have found 2 good things about this machine. #1, it has a sick program called Garage Band, and #2, it-amazingly-actually functions. I mean seriously, I'm surprised this hunk of "technology" is even working.

Gaming on a Mac is like not saying lah in Malaysia, on a street that is packed with old ladies that only speak 16 words of English, 4 of which are lah, and it is feeding time. I'm serious, it just doesn't happen. There are like 20 games for Mac, and none that aren't ports from the PC.

Those boyishly handsome ads are pure propaganda, that fully exploit the possibility that the latest Windows (VISTA, SEE I SAID IT!!!) is less than perfect. Now while this might be the case, the Mac is even worse!

Pssh, yeah no viruses, guess they don't count Mac-compatible Keyloggers. Jeese Apple, you couldn't present your product for what it really is if your words were actualized into a beam that repeats the words until your come clean that they are total fallacies. www.applesucks.com(oops, just looked at that, don't go there).

Oh, and you kknow that crappy ad they show about how the Macbook has the power card pull out? Well it pulls out to easily(thats what she said), just a small jostle sends it flying out 50 miles per hour.

Oh and 98% of software is for Windows. Linux and Mac split the remaining 2%.

Overall a Mac is not worth any money. At all, maybe a freebie selling for 92$. At least the iPods are over costly MP3 players.

0/10
$a crapload
www.apple.com

Reviewed by:
A very intelligent person


I can't believe I allowed this to be posted (actually, I technically didn't. He published without asking.). How shameful. Apparently my little brother aspires to be a computer critic? I'm too tired to write a post, so I'll let this do. Please forgive me. NaBloPoMo is messing with my blogging standards.

13 comments:

  1. haha I was so confused when I started reading this post. I was like, "Ashley doesn't write like this... what's going on?" Too bad I know nothing about computers, or I would be able to leave a better comment. :)

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  2. Wow, an 8th grader writes like this?! Awesome! I love this post! You should let your brother post more often :-)

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  3. I'm also very impressed that an 8th grader wrote this...

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  4. Macs rule, Anthony. :)

    Face it.

    I seriously can't believe there is a post on my blog with the word "poop" in it.

    I love you, kid.

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  5. I haven't read a ton of your blog posts (I followed the link from No Ordinary Rollercoaster) but figured "Poop on a log" was a little bit of a strange title for your blog and curiousity got the better of me.

    Not a bad post, actually, especially for an 8th grade boy.

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  6. Anthony, Blizzard makes all of its games for both operating systems... Sure Valve is a big loss- but you can run both operating systems via bootcamp.

    The power cord's feature has saved my computer so many times (seriously-- I had my power cord dragged across the room and Melanie kept forgetting about it.) It has never fallen out just randomly though.

    Apple dominates the multimedia production field (and since Ashley wants to do graphic design this is appropriate.) Adobe products run better on Macs, it is a fact. Final Cut Pro, the top of the line video editing software, is for Mac only. Music production software like Reason, Ableton Live, etc... run quite well on Macs-- and the Firewire port (I know they are gone on the new models) provide perfect extra places to plug in those external drives or sound cards.

    I will agree with you that Mac hardware is overpriced-- but the operating itself is pretty efficient/clean.

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  7. Your Bootcamp leads me to another point, Apple is pretty selfish. Think about it, they let Windows run on a Mac, but gasp at the idea of doing it vice versa. Most responsible people don't hit their cables, but your right its bound to happen some times. But I'm not sure if the terrible connection is worth the trade off. Also, Final Cut Studio Pro is not top-of-the-line, top of the line is Adobes products. Also, Blizzard is one company out off tons and I don't even play their games alot.

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  8. lol! Anthony you are so wrong!!

    I'm a gamer and I both game and blog on a Mac, and it's beautiful over here ;)

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  9. Wow, I didn't know that was your brother until after the fact. When I saw "poop on a log" I busted up laughing & thought, is Ashley drunk? HAHA.

    I kind of have to agree with him though. My husband is convinced that MACS are the greatest thing since sliced bread. I don't think they're that great, simply because they are overpriced & overrated.

    But that's just my opinion. :] They certainly are pretty, though.

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  11. [I spelled "Anthony" wrong the first time I posted this]
    Anthony! Final Cut Pro IS top of the line... you like Lord of the Rings correct? Guess what they used to compile those clips? Final Cut Pro! Adobe Premiere is no good; trust me I have used both. And you can install OS X on any PC already containing Windows... just like you can run both OS X and Ubuntu or Vista and Debian or anything like that. Sorry Ashley for just hi-jacking these comments!

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  12. I just cried a little at this post. Sorry to say but Macs rock!

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