Thursday, April 8, 2010

"SO!? What is it?!"

Whenever a friend or family member has a baby girl, I am jealous. Even if I'm not pregnant, or even thinking about it, I'm jealous. I assume that everyone hopes for a girl when they are pregnant.

I want a daughter. I want my daughter to have sisters. Girls are sweet, cute, wear pretty dresses, have long hair, and are all about cuddling. Girls grow up and stay in touch with their family.

These (very possibly ridiculous and wrong) assumptions are admittedly biased since I am one of four girls and my mom is one of seven girls - we each have one brother. We are much closer with my mom's family than my dad's - even though both families live in the same city. I loved having sisters. I loved having lots of aunts. I loved being around so many women - they talk, they laugh, they cry, they experience emotions fully and without shame. (They also tend to gossip and judge more, but that's another story.)

I even work at an all-girls high school. I choose to work with teenage girls on a daily basis. And I love it.

We had our first real ultrasound on Tuesday - the first one was simply for dating and to prove to me that there was, in fact, a little blob inside of me with a flickering heartbeat. (An aside: it's also our only ultrasound unless something needs monitoring. I guess I thought there were, like, monthly ultrasounds. Not so much unless you're having a high risk pregnancy. Apparently, the less ultrasounds the better because it's probably not the best thing in the world for Bebe. It's just as well, since the appointment took an hour and a half and was quite jabby at my poor belly.)

Where was I? Oh yes, going to the ultrasound appointment .

I'd read that the prep includes drinking 32 ounces of water the hour before the ultrasound - even though I hadn't been told that when I made my appointment. I wasn't sure whether to down ridiculous amounts of water in case I was supposed to, or if that would just make the prodding at my bladder area even more torturous. I read that if I didn't drink lots of liquid, I'd have to reschedule my appointment. I decided on drinking a lot of tea and water, which was absolutely torturous. (Even the ultrasound technician could tell how full my bladder was. Embarrassing much?)

Within the first minute or two of prodding, the ultrasound technician asked if we wanted to know. "Um, sure," I replied calmly. She turned the screen towards us and I swear it looked exactly like the cover of Nevermind.

"Can you tell?" she asked.
I hesitated, "Uh...boy?"
"Yep. You're looking at penis. That's a boy if I ever saw one. I never say 100%, but I think you can paint the room blue."

It took a few minutes to settle in as she continued prodding and taking photos of one squirmy little baby, and I'm embarrassed to admit that my heart sank just a wee little bit.

The ultrasound technician left the room to show a doctor the photos after she told me the due date was moved exactly to Mike's birthday, that everything looks perfect, and that the baby weighs nine ounces. I sat next to Mike, and gave him a pouty face.

"A boy can't wear cute little tights and leggings," I whined.
"Sure he can," Mike squeezed my hand, "He'll be like Robin Hood."

Later that day, I went for a long walk to enjoy the beautiful day. I don't think it was a coincidence that every single child I saw was a boy - from the six-month-old strapped to his mom's chest, to the adorable one-year-old standing on his front porch with his "Italia" onesie, to the four-year-old riding a tricycle with his mom, to the eight-year-old riding his bike with a plastic bag from CVS filled with a bottle of Coke and a bag of Cheetos - I saw cute little boys everywhere.

I know little boys are just as awesome as little girls - they are sweet and cuddly. My cousins always tell my aunt how pretty she is, and then say something hilarious like, "Whenever I toot, I run out of the room." See? Funny and sweet.  I see Jimaie with her adorable boys and want to be that kind of mom - fun and silly with my son. He can be a protective older brother and he will be the kind of boy who will be caring, sweet, and gentle even as gets older. 

19 Week Ultrasound.
"So?? WHAT IS IT?!?" A really healthy baby. :)
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