Seriously, now.

Today is the last day of my job.

The last day working with these kids I've been with for two years, coworkers I've forged friendships with, and the place that's strengthened and transformed me. It's impact has been great and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Yesterday I had at least a dozen kids come up to me and ask accusingly, "Ms. Ashley, why are you moving to Cleveland??" like it was a crime. Like I was abandoning them.

Despite difficulties in the past, I really will miss this place. I will miss these kids. So much I ache.

I know they'll move on, forget me and the role I played in their life, and new staff members will come. They'll be successful and happy - they don't need me. But maybe I need them. And that's okay.

Because I love lists: What I'm Going to Miss:
- "Ms. Ashley"
- Playing in the creek
- Going fishing
- Hiking, playing four square and kickball as a part of my job
- The 4H Pledge, baby
- Being the minority in the neighborhood and in my workplace - I think it's good to make yourself uncomfortable. It's too easy to be in segregated city and not give it a second thought...
- My coworkers who make me laugh and support me
- Mancala and Go Fish
- Making lanyards
- Being a "teacher," at least in their eyes
- Helping kids discover and love nature
- Kids who make me laugh so hard I can't speak
- Learning rap songs from 6-year-olds
- Singing camp songs loudly at the top of my lungs
- Soulja Boy dance...done a million times
- Kids who are excited to share their day with me
- Their sense of rhythm and beat - better than I could ever hope to be!
- Getting my hair braided and learning how they do their hair (Grease! Who knew?)
- Diversity. It's integral to who I am. What will do without it?
- Being "little Ms. Ashley"
- Being told I look like Miley Cyrus and the Little Mermaid
- "Look, I'm almost as tall as you, Ms. Ashley!" Most of the time, they're a good half foot shorter, but are in complete denial. (But, don't get me wrong, tons of them ARE taller than short lil' me.)
- Telling them about Mike and having them remember
- Kids who tell me I'm the "second coolest teacher." I'll take it.

My new job will be my first job not working with youth. I'm so sad, but I know I have to do this to determine what path I'm to pursue. Maybe I'll love it and not miss the kids at all. Maybe I'll count down the minutes until July 11, 2009, when I can get a new job working with adorable, hilarious children. The thing is, I have so many interests, and not all of them are conducive to working with youth...so we'll see where life takes me.

Here's to new adventures. And saying goodbye to old ones...

{PS: Remember my passiveness situation? I took your advice and said something and she was gracious, of course; acknowledging that not paying for cable would be fine if we didn't want to use it. Score.}