Oh, Religion.

I grew up in a religious (Catholic) family - we went to church every Sunday, participated in all of the sacraments, and were very involved in our faith and church. When I was in high school, I became quite religious myself - leading retreats for other high schoolers, reading my Bible, praying, and being a leader in our church youth group. I was always pegged as a "good little Christian girl" by my classmates. (Which was quite annoying as a 17-year-old, but in retrospect, was probably a good thing. Because they typecast me, I stayed out of trouble. No one was going to ask the Good Little Christian Girl to do Naughty Things.)

As a freshman in college, a coworker and I got into a conversation about religion, and he remarked, "Most wars are started by religion; religion does more harm than good."

My 18-year-old self was scandalized. Religion? Bad? He's obviously a heathen.

This conversation was followed by four transformative years of college (see: recap here). I've come a long way since my simplistic understanding of the ways that religion contributes both positively and negatively to our world. As I’ve become more balanced in my own personal faith journey, I’ve been able to see that there are, in fact, many negative effects of religion. Individuals (including the 18-year-old me) can become judgmental and divisive in the name of religion. Instead of being a tool to create a more loving, caring world - we can use religion to justify violence and hate.

In my opinion, the purpose of religion should be to inspire individuals to create a better world through bettering themselves; to become kinder, gentler, more open, and more generous individuals. Religion and spirituality should call us outward towards others, not just inward.

I think religion makes the world a better place when this happens. And it so often does.

Religiously-affiliated colleges and high schools more often educate about social justice and include service in their curriculum. Religious charities feed the hungry, care for the sick and orphaned, and advocate for the poor. I’ve met some of the most amazing religious sisters (nuns) dedicate their lives to working for peace and justice. They inspire me and make me proud to consider myself a part of their religion.

Plus, Jesus was all about loving your neighbor, not getting hung up on specific rules, and nonviolence. He was a pretty radical guy.

That’s not to say that the teachings of religions aren’t ever hurtful or harmful. I’ve personally struggled with this; it can be so heartbreaking. I’ve seen discrimination in this country that has angered and frustrated me. Someday, I’ll write a post about living in a country of Muslims during 9/11 and coming back to my own country, surprised and saddened to find resentment and unfounded beliefs about Islam running rampant.

I am, In fact, an unlikely defendant of religion. Even as I write this, I'm torn to be defending something that has hurt so many. But I'm writing about it, because I think when it's done well, religion can contribute to a better world.

But today, I want to talk about how you think religion has both helped or harmed our cities, our countries, and our world.

Me? I don’t think you need religion or faith to be a good person, but I think that religion has the potential to make the world a better place.

{FAQ 3} On food, homemade gifts, and black sheepdom.

Stephanie wonders:
(1) What's your favorite Thanksgiving food? (I'm also a vegetarian and everyone always asks me what I eat on Thanksgiving... hello?! Have they not seen all the side dishes?)

I love to eat. I mean, I know people say that - but I ate more at Thanksgiving this year than my husband did. I'm serious about eating. But I get fully really quickly, so I annoy my family and friends by complaining every five seconds about being full. My sister and I contemplated the benefits of having four stomachs like cows do. It could be great for me. (Not the vomiting part. That would be awful.)

Also, I completely agree with you - being a vegetarian is no punishment on Thanksgiving! Fifty bajillion wonderful side dishes means I don't have to eat any of that gross bird. {I don't even eat Tofurkey, because I don't like the taste. But that's another story.}

Back to your question, I'd say my favorite side dish is sweet potatoes if they're done right. Mashed potatoes (I eat them with homemade cranberry-citrus sauce) are delicious, too!

(2) Are you planning on making Christmas gifts again and, if so, what do you plan on making?

Yes! I'm all about handmade - less packaging, less expensive, less commercial Christmas stress, and more personalized! Since my sisters usually read this blog (hi guys!), all I'll say is I'll be making things similar to what is in my Etsy store, food and bath salts in jars like last year, and even trying to make soap! (The internet has so many resources. It makes me happy.)

Steph (Corwin) asks: When was your first break-away-from-the-pack moment? You know since you're such a crazy compared to your family ;) Is there some defining moment in your life when you realized you were different from your family, or were you always that way?

My parents always really supported me when I was growing up. I was very much their "golden child," {I'm not just saying this, it's true. Very silly, but true.} because I was into my faith and did well in school. They'd tell my siblings to be more like me. {Weird, right?}

A few distinct moments stand out when I thought, "I...don't...agree...with my parents?!" Slightly panicked, to be honest. As a people-pleasing, teacher's pet kind of girl, not agreeing with your parents is really, insanely difficult.

Once when I was in middle school, my dad and I were discussing the Nike brand. I expressed concern over sweatshops, to which my dad explained that their wages weren't that bad for that area of the world, and that "at least Nike is creating work there".

"But...just because it's somewhere else doesn't mean they deserve to live like that," I said, surprising even myself for disagreeing with Dad. Intelligent, knows-everything, always-right Dad. We talked about it for a while longer. It was an odd feeling, coming away realizing that, for once, my dad didn't convince me.

My senior year of high school, The War started, and I was honestly confused as to why we were fighting. I asked my dad to explain it to me.

And, again, I came away from the conversation genuinely surprised to find that I still thought it was...not right. I wasn't convinced.

Then I went off to college, where I learned a lot. A lot. I was pushed, challenged, and confronted. I questioned my beliefs and values. I came to conclusions. I grew so much. I did what you're supposed to do in college.

I got to meet crazy, liberal hippies who were religious and so cool and not at all as evil as I had heard. I did a ton of service and then learned about the root causes behind injustices. I tutored immigrants for their citizenship test and wrote letters to my legislators about immigration reform. I went to an immigration rally and was confronted by neo-Nazis. A crazy, radical Christian came on campus and I read his book about Jesus' message of justice, not judgment. I wrote a letter to the Pope about fostering a consistent ethic of life (for a class, I'm not that much of a weirdo!), I led a small group about faith and justice - I was fiercely and wholly passionate.

I took one class called History of Catholicism in the US, and learned that liberalism has always been a plague on the church. It has always been feared. It has always been loathed. And...it lead great things. (The priest faces us and we can understand what he's saying!) I stopped thinking of "liberal" as a bad word because of that class.

I still feel a twinge of guilt when I come to conclusions that are different than my parents, but honestly - I am also very thankful to have such a different view in my own family. It makes me less likely to make sweeping generalizations about people I disagree with, it makes me more willing to find common ground, and it makes me appreciate agreeing with my husband. :)

I'm also proud of myself for staying true to who I am and not burying my real thoughts and feelings in order to stay the golden child. It's hard stuff. And most people will never experience what it's like to firmly disagree with their parents. I don't recommend it, but I do recommend being who you are!

We all want a better world, we just have different ideas of how to get there.

I'm Not Trying to Convince You of Anything, Promise.

In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.

- Thich Nhat Hanh

I've had a lot on my mind lately, as I'm sure you do.

I've lost sleep, worried myself sick, and anxiously bit my nails to nubbins.

We're all (around here, anyway) engaged in the election and have been watching the same debates, the same news coverage, and the same TV ads. And, yet, we're more divided than ever.

I have friends and family planted firmly on both sides of the political divide, so I hear both complain about and mock the other "side" - and as many others ave lamented, the fact that there are "sides" and we (to have any real chance of our candidate being elected) have to choose between two extremes is insane, anyway.

Whoever gets elected, I don't think our country will go to hell- despite emails, blog posts, videos, and websites I've read that insist otherwise. My dad claims that Barack is a terrorist who will make our country socialist and all freedom will be lost; while my coworker maintains that McCain doesn't care about the poor or the rest of the world.

Being Catholic only further exacerbates the divide - some Catholics ascribe to the One Catholic Way to Vote philosophy, and contend that a vote for Barack is a vote for violence against innocent babies. Other Catholics assert that a vote for McCain is a vote against Catholic Social Teaching.

These positions worry me - not because people disagree, but because of the way they disagree and the way that leads them to treat others.

And it saddens me so. Because I truly want to have a dialogue where we all respectfully discuss what is important to us, what excites us, why we're voting for X, what we hope for the future, and so on - without automatically assuming that someone who is voting for the other guy is an idiot who doesn't care about ______ (fill in: America, terrorists, babies, freedom, homosexuals, etc.).

When I've tried to have an honest and open dialogue with the "other side" this year, I've ended up being shouted at and cried into my ice cream sundae at Friendly's. No joke. That's hard to recover from.

I think the root of much of my frustration is that I feel as though people cling to political parties more than they consider candidates and issues. My 17-year-old cousin proclaimed on Facebook that she's "a [major political party]. Deal with it." People cheered her on: "Yeah! Proclaim it, girl!"

Wha-ha? How can someone, at such a young age - make that kind of weighted decision? To limit your views to a political party when you are 17 years old? That worries me. We're getting to be more polarized earlier and earlier - we're teaching our kids to see the world through our eyes instead of encouraging them to develop their own opinion at all.

Or as one of my friends would say, "Who wants to raise sheep!?"

Sure, it's much easier to just vote how your parents voted. To not examine the issues and to take other people's word for it. Examining and wrestling with issues is hard work. (It's easy to get sidetracked by the crazy 24 hour media circuits - but we've seemed to have forgotten about issues and pretend the candidates are celebrities worthy of gossip and stalking.) As factcheck.org will show - both candidates are misleading like crazy and NEITHER is perfect.
That's hard to swallow - for both sides.

This isn't meant to be a political rant or a "VOTE FOR OBAMA/MCCAIN!" post - merely a "How the heck did we get so darn polarized? And how do we make it stop?"

I, for one, pledge to never, ever vote based on party line. I'll examine each and every candidate I vote for.

Please, lovely, wonderful commenters - play nice if you want to say something, okay? Mwah.

I'm Secretly Kind of Glad Bristol Palin is Pregnant.

Let me preface this: I usually shy away from discussing politics. This is actually the first election I've ever watched entire presidential debates and conventions. I don't like to discuss politics, because even though I believe I'm well-informed, I've seen how ugly political disagreements can get. Otherwise cordial and friendly individuals can get feisty and angry. I debated whether I should even post about this. Period. But, that being said - it's my blog and I want to talk through this.

In case you've been hiding under a rock, vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter is pregnant.

I'm kind of glad she is.

Maybe that's rude and selfish - but hear me out:

I come from a big family of conservative, pro-life Republicans, I attended Catholic college and currently work at one. When I was little, my parents, okay, my mom - Dad's not into public displays of values - took me to pro-life pickets. I went to the March for Life a few times in Washington D.C. when I was younger.

Suffice it say: I've been around a lot, a LOT of people who are pro-life. (Although that label in itself causes me some struggles - because if you declare yourself "pro-life, it seems you should be for protecting ALL life, not just babies. That means you, Mr. Death Penalty.)

I really, really, realllly dislike abortion. In an ideal world, there would be little to no abortions. But, I'm a firm believer in a comprehensive approach to reducing abortions - NOT just passing legislation to completely reverse Roe V. Wade, but a holistic, preventative approach.

Which brings me to Bristol. Most people I know who are die-hard pro-life are also the ones who are the most judgmental towards unwed mothers.

It frustrates me so. Wait, so you don't want a young woman to abort, but if she decides to keep it, you're going to be cruel, rude, and judgmental because she's young or unmarried?! Who would WANT to keep a baby in those kinds of circumstances?

So, Bristol, dear, consider yourself lucky. Since Republicans want to be supportive of their VP nominee, they aren't going to judge you too harshly. (Just your mother, apparently.)

I just hope that everyone can remember how easy it was to "forgive" her sins and treat other young or unwed mothers with the same graciousness.

Seven Deadly Sins Remix

So, the Vatican has come out with some "new" sins we can be guilty of.

I'm actually really excited about these, though, because they are finally drawing attention to social and environmental obligations. (Perfect for my oh-so-religious-but-thinks-global-warming-is-a-money-making-farce family!)

Here they are:

1. genetic modification
2. carrying out experiments on humans
3. polluting the environment (!)
4. causing social injustice (!)
5. causing poverty (!)
6. becoming obscenely wealthy (!)
7. taking drugs

Faith and religion can be a wonderful way to give individuals happiness, fulfillment, and peace. A religion can encourage followers to make the world a better place through social justice and stewardship of the environment. I so wish it always worked like that. I wish religions never focused hatred and division – but instead on acceptance and unity. Maybe I sound all hippie-dippy, but seriously. What is the point of promoting anger or a superiority complex when there are REAL issues that we can tackle?

End rant.