A Video Blog for Erin.

This video is for Erin, my dear friend who is pregnant with TWIN! GIRLS! The seriously amazing Renee organized a virtual baby shower for her. How sweet is that?

We all blogged (or video blogged - complete with a messy bun and no make up) about our favorite things that come in pairs. Erin, behold:

For Miss Erin from Ashley Marie on Vimeo.

(Pretend like I have some idea where I found my almond butter. And that I am wearing a cute outfit with my hair done.)

(PS: I thought of another pair! Pam and Jim! Amen.)

Internet Friends do Indy.

(This and all photos by Erin. Except the last, which was some random guy.)

Once upon a time, I missed an epic Vegas trip. I was heartbroken, but a dear friend was getting married that weekend, and I couldn’t very well skip her wedding to meet a bunch of ‘internet friends’ without lying quite a bit.

I vowed to go the next year, and all the dear friends I’d missed meeting vowed there would be a next time. (And I made plans to meet some amazing California friends in the meantime.)

Next time, though, flights were $500 and I found myself (surprise!) nearly six months pregnant.

And so, plans for a different sort of trip was emerged. A Midwest adventure: a road trip to Indianapolis for a weekend of soul-quenching girl time.

We descended upon Indianapolis from every direction, Renee and Erin from the north, Nora from the west, EP from the south, and I from the east. I honestly can’t believe I hadn’t met these girls before- I feel like I’ve known them forever.

What do you tell people when you’re going to spend the weekend with ‘internet friends’? I told some it was a weekend trip with college friends and others, I confessed my dorky secret: I was spending the entire weekend, and sharing a bed, with Internet Friends. Yes, I had never met these people before. Yes, this is totally normal. No, they are not creepy 45-year-old men.

It wasn’t weird or awkward for one minute – it was perfect. It was comfortable and cozy and full of honest, open conversations. It was late night chats and little sleep. It was a spa day and early morning laughter. It was a surprise mini baby shower and singing "Soul Sister" in Renee's car. It was Erin's sweet accent and amazing cookies.  It was Nora's incredible kindness and always knowing ever blogger that ever existed.  It was Renee's bright spirit. It was Erin glowing and rubbing her baby bump.

It was a photo session with EP, an amazing photographer.

It was a fried food hangover.

It was a Barbie exhibit at the Children's Museum.

 It was being with four girls, gorgeous inside and out.

Can we talk for a minute about food? Because the weekend was full of delicious food. Friday night was Mug n’ Bun with homemade freakin’ root beer and FUNNEL CAKE fries (how did I not know these existed?! And don’t even mention Burger King until you’ve had these puppies.) Saturday was Thai food (Massaman curry with tofu, Thai iced tea, and mango and sticky rice) with a dear college friend and her husband who happened to be in town from Atlanta for a wedding, then a topless bar for dinner. Okay, so maybe it was a tapas bar and maybe we got goat cheese, macaroni and cheese, and other deliciousness. We rounded out the weekend with an amazing brunch at Café Patachou, where I ate croissant French toast topped with sugared walnuts and maple syrup. Yes, French toast made from croissants. Yes, it’s as delicious as it sounds.

Ladies, thank you for a beautiful weekend.

I am lucky and my soul is smiling.

Love Harder: Saying a Little Prayer for Brandy...

Hello, lovelies!

The post (and video!) below is something that will be sprinkled across the internet today - please take the time to read. And not just because Brandy is adorable and a seriously fabulous writer. Read it, you'll see.

And the video? Well, it's our attempt at cheering Brandy up with a little song. (Brandy, uh, sorry for being a terrible singer). I dare you to not sing along.

PS: Mike and I sing in the video. Can you catch us?

PPS: How crazy is it to see SO MANY bloggers in one video? Woah. Brandy, you are a very special lady. (Duh.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Our Plea

Our friend Brandy is a brilliant writer, a wonderful teacher, and a generous friend. And she is in love with a man who has just been diagnosed with multiple myeloma.

We are raising money for the Multiple Myeloma Research Fund in his name. For the price of a cinnamon dolce latte, half-caf, hold the whip, you can be part of an effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide.

www.loveharder.org

Every dollar brings us a dollar closer to a cure. And every donation brings a sliver of hope to a girl who needs all the hope she can get.

Love Harder,
Ashley


What You Can Do

• Give. Be part of a worldwide effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide. Every dollar helps.
  
  
• Pass it on. Forward this story to five people. Share this blog post. Become our fan on Facebook.
  
  
• Love harder. Life is short, love is unbending, and no one knows what could happen next. Tell someone you love them today.
  

Where Your Money Goes

• The American Institute of Philanthropy recently named The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation one of the best organizations to give to in terms of their accountability and use of resources.
  
  
• By working closely with researchers, clinicians and partners in the biotech and pharmaceutical industry, the MMRF has helped bring multiple myeloma patients four new treatments that are extending lives around the globe.
  
  
• The MMRF has advanced twenty Phase I and Phase II clinical trials. They need your support to advance these clinical research programs and accelerate the development of better, more effective treatments.
  
  
• The MMRF's Multiple Myeloma Genomics Initiative recently became the first to sequence the multiple myeloma whole genome in its entirety.
  
  
• A whopping 98% of your donation to the MMRF will be used immediately to support high-priority multiple myeloma research.
  
  
• With diminishing funding for early stage drug development and the next myeloma treatments not expected to be approved until 2011, the MMRF desperately needs your help.
  

Brandy's Story

My name is Brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach, and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds.

Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog-- as personal as the dude that I adore. But I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job.

He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school-- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred.

He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making-- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you.

This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next.

Thank you for reading this, and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

DONATE: www.loveharder.org
CONTACT: theloveharderfund@gmail.com
FACEBOOK: http://facebook.loveharder.org
MORE INFO: www.themmrf.org

Enough of this Narcissism! Let's Talk About You.

Lovelies!

Today is (National? International? Blogosphere-ical?) Delurking Day. I’ve never participated in a one of these, but I am curious: Who are you people?

I’m also going to add this as a permanent link on the sidebar where readers can introduce themselves. I’ve connected with a lot of you, but I’d love to know more about the people who are kind enough to drop by my little website.

So, whether you're a regular commenter, a dear friend, or a new reader who just lurks about (I promise not to be creeped out by that image), I'd be delighted if you'd take a moment to leave a comment and introduce yourself.

Answer one, two, or all of these:

· Where are you from?

· Tell me a little bit about your daily life: what is a typical day like for you? What's your favorite part of each day?

· What book changed your life?

· If you’re a fellow blogger: what's your URL? What do you write about?

· Food is good. What's your favorite thing to eat? OR: coffee drink of choice?

· What TV show on DVD should I start watching next?

I can’t wait to hear from you, wonderful people.

32 Hours on a Bus Will Do That to You.

(I always feel like I'm catching up with friends when I click, "New Post" and start typing away. I kind of like you guys.)

After 32 hours in a bus, two days of walking, a bit of rain, and an amazing experience - I'm back and completely rejuvenated and inspired. (Minus my body, which is achy and sleep-deprived.) I don't think I can fully explain what this weekend meant to me. Everything I can think of just sounds like silly fluff. (My attempts? "It was a festival of love and caring of peace; a river of compassion." and "It made me truly proud to be an American and Catholic." See? Cornball City, USA.)

A few things I do want to remember:

• Such an odd collection of humanity. From young families to aging flower children to older nuns who looked like your grandma to college students with 27 piercings in their face - there were people of all ages, races, and religions.
  

• A 4:30am Krispy Kreme donut is equal parts disgusting and amazing.

• The whole bus singing Let It Be and Don't Stop Believing accompanied by a college guy playing his acoustic guitar.
  

• Food Not Bombs providing endless free vegetarian meals to everyone. What an awesome movement.

• Seeing a dozen of friends from college. It was surreal seeing so many people I knew in a random city in Georgia.

• I felt an indescribable sense of belonging. Sometimes it can be a bit lonely thinking things like this, but not this weekend. We are one body, for real.
  

I think, most of all, the generosity, kindness, and openness of all those I encountered impacted me. Although it wasn't the purpose of this weekend, I was really inspired to take a hard look at myself, who I am, and what I am spending my time and energy on. Big questions like, "Am I being the truest version of myself?" and "What do I want from life?" and "Who do I want to be?" are swirling around in my head, demanding I slow down and think.

Meeting people who are unabashedly themselves do that to you.

See more photos from my weekend here.

Other things to tell you:

- My guest bloggers were awesome, weren't they? Thank you, guest bloggers! You rock. (I'm biased and am totally excited that my little sister did one. Woo!)

- I am insanely excited (and flattered like WOAH) that 20-Something Bloggers picked my post to win the Blogger Carnival: Can't Live Without. My prize is $100 in my Alice.com account. I have an account but have never used it yet, but imagine that this $100 will be the beginning of a long and lovely relationship wherein I can go shopping for organic hair conditioner and fair trade coffee beans in my yoga pants. Sa-weet. (PS: My post is here.)

- My book review of Ten Ways to Change the World in Your Twenties is up at The Greenists. I felt pretty important telling everyone who asked me what I was reading that it was an advanced copy to review. Go check it out!

I Don't Do "Balance" Well.

I began blogging as a way to keep in touch with my friends while in Hawaii for a semester.

I continued blogging because I was enthralled by the idea of this world where people wrote as a way of communication. Writers spent time expressing their thoughts and readers took time to read and respond.

This blogging thing seemed to encourage us to take the time to listen to each other. Sometimes we giggle together, sometimes we learn together, and sometimes we disagree. But, we’re always talking.

And I love that about blogging.

I love that blogging has led me to some of the sweetest, kindest, and most wonderful people I’ve ever known. When I cry, you send me emails to see how I am. You make me laugh with your silly stories. You make me want to be a better person. You encourage me to be who I want to be. You even support my little Etsy shop and freelance design work. You are amazing.
The price of getting cozy and comfortable in this wonderful little corner of my life, though, is that I have neglected other people and other pieces of my life that I love dearly.

.

.

.

It makes catching up with an old friend quite one-sided when they’re updated on all the details of your life from your blog. You start out on a story while at coffee with a friend, and wonder, “Am I repeating something I wrote?” Your friend confesses to loving your blog, but feels “like a total stalker” for reading it. You don’t send birthday cards, you tweet birthday wishes instead. You get lazy about keeping in touch. Your husband begins to feel neglected.

You love blogging and you love your “real life” friends and family.

You seek to find a balance.

..................

Psst: In honor of being more "balanced," I'd like to solicit a few guest bloggers for this weekend. I'll be heading down to Georgia for a work trip. Leave a comment below or email me if you're interested. Thanks!

A Little Google Analytic Goodness.

When I first started blogging, I was obsessed with checking my blog stats. I wondered thinks like: How did people find my site? What did they look at? Where are they? Also, there was a visitor from City X. I know a person in City X. Ahh, it's probably a family member reading my blog and judging me harshly.

Then I got busy and a bit bored with the incessant monitoring of my stats, so I forget just how amusing it can be to see the phrases people have searched to end up at this little website.

Here are the latest gems that made me giggle:

old cousin has bigger You're leaving me in suspense here....old cousin has bigger what?

being a new kid in high school Is hard. I've been the new kid in 2nd grade, 5th grade, 8th grade, and 11th grade. Being a new kid is far worse than being a new adult at a high school. And far less fun.

can i repierce my nose with a needle Ugh. You can, but it may lead to pain and infection. Just saying. (See: post repiercing my nose with needle and my naive, triumphant grin. Oh, the things I could tell you, Ashley. At least I didn't repierce with a pushpin like I'd contemplated.)

don't wear juniors clothing Don't judge me. You don't understand how hard the world is when you're a tiny little person. No, these are not jeans from Delias, thankyouverymuch.

dried blood in my nose after c-section That may be unrelated. I mean, unless there's some nose-uterus connection I'm unaware of. Though, honestly, I shouldn't be giving you medical advice, seeing as how I have never had a c-section and am without a medical degree.

how to tell if you are too old for clothes I say you're too old for clothes when you feel like being naked all the time. You're old, do what you want, I say.

coffee makes me smarter Yes, me too. It also makes me happier. Coffee is my anti-drug. Wait, it is a drug. Crap. Fine, coffee is my favorite drug in the whole world.

it took me two years to grow out my eyebrows Well. That just sucks.

peed hotel room floor And then whoever Googled this spent an hour on my website. I hope you found what you're looking for. And that you decided NOT to pee on the hotel room floor.

"i'm not built to work five days a week" I am proud to say that I am #1 on Google for this search phrase. Booyah! Full-time work haters unite!

Wordpress, I SO Want to Love You.

First:

Please email me at ashleymarie6 {at} gmail {dot} com by Wednesday to claim your prize!

Update: A new winner has been chosen, because I was never contacted. Congrats, Taryn!

Second:

I have moved my reviews blog over to Wordpress -to see how I like it and make it easier for you all to leave comments when I have giveaways (woo!). Perhaps this blog will follow... My initial thoughts, though? I hate that I have to pay to edit the code. Plus, Blogger is far, far easier to use in terms of making it look the way I want it to, while Wordpress seems better comment-wise (allowing threaded comments and editing comments and all that good stuff.) I'd love to hear why you choose the platform you have.

Third:
Sister was home from college (yay!) and the weather was gorgeous and completely fall. The conditions for a photoshoot were ripe. And so I forced two of my sisters and a cousin into the field across from my grandparents' house and followed them around with my camera.

Good Lord, it was fun!

Totally an album cover.

Bomber jacket. Don't mess with her.

Yummy soy beans.

Hello, fall.

Whee!

See more photos here.

I Dominated HTML. (Or is it CSS? Meh.)

If you're in Google Reader, COME OVER RIGHT NOW and see my pretty new home.

I completely redesigned it - layout and all and I'm absolutely giddy: Tabs! Lines! A Favicon! Lots of white space! I wanted a simpler layout and I love how it turned out. It's a really good feeling when you figure how to make the code do what you're imagining. A really, really good feeling.

And you have a reason to be giddy, too. Gap is taking over the blogosphere - if you haven't won a pair of jeans yet, come on over and read about my party (complete with a dorky video!). Then enter to win!

Days 8 & 9: Our Weekend in LA.

After several days camping and driving through Colorado and Utah's beautiful mountains and canyons, our time in Las Vegas was a definite change of pace and prepared us for a weekend in the City of Angels. Instead of being hurried and busy, though, we actually spent a great deal of time simply relaxing in a lovely apartment.

LA was sort of the crown jewel of our trip; when people asked where were traveling, we'd answer with shining faces: “Los Angeles!” And it was all because of a conversation one early summer evening less than a month ago.

Mike and I were on a walk, chatting about the rest of the summer and our tentative plans to go on a trip down to the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. We sat on a stone bench, and I said wistfully, “Some day, I'd like to go on a road trip to California and back.”

Mike paused. “It's funny how we limit ourselves,” he said, “because there's no reason we couldn't go to California right now.”

Ever the “No!” one in our marriage, I quickly countered that I had a job and he had classes. It was easier to come up with reasons why we couldn't go than why we could. After a bit more conversation, I excitedly agreed that we could go once our obligations were over.

And thus the planning began – a few short weeks before the trip.

I emailed my blogger friends in LA, absolutely on giddy that we could finally meet. Crystal generously offered her gorgeous apartment for our use as she would be gone (sadly!). When my grandma asked me where were staying in LA, I was certain not to mention anything like, “internet friend” or “never met her.” Seriously, though, how sweet is Crystal to trust someone she's never actually met to stay in her beautiful apartment? It was absolutely glorious to unwind for once on the road. No tent, no seedy motel, and wi-fi! What more could you want? (Oh, a freaking huge television? Check. She has it.)

We spent some time in Malibu Beach – trying a raw restaurant for the first time, checking out their awesome farmer's market, and staring at the ocean. (Mmm, ocean. I sure miss the days I lived in Hawaii.)

We checked out Beverly Hills, drove Sunset Avenue, and did the totally touristy Walk of Fame, Kodak Theater, and Chinese Theater. It was a bit overwhelming, so we opted for a quiet dinner at an adorable little restaurant...

Where we had a celebrity spotting. Yep. We were stuffing our faces with black bean nachos at A Votre Sante when I was a bit bothered by the PDA-crazy couple at the table next to us. I looked at them, slightly annoyed. I looked closer...is that?...and it was totally Oscar from The Office

Grinning, I mouthed my discovery to Mike. We both grinned like idiots throughout the rest of dinner, stealing furtive glances in his direction. The first thing I whispered to Mike was, “Well, I guess he's not gay for real!” Did I mention how giddy we were? He and his wife were adorable, they were cuddling and obviously enjoying their night out together. There was no way I was going to bother him. (Plus, I am a total chicken. Total.)

Despite our being very lame and not doing tons of cool stuff in LA, we managed to see a celebrity. And what's more, an actor from a show we totally love!

On Sunday, we spent nearly the entire day with a delightful group of girls (and Jonathon) from around LA and Cali. When I first met them, I wanted to yelp, “Finally!” I can't put into words how very, very wonderful it was. Conversation flowed easily, they were ridiculously sweet, and as Jimaie said, “I haven't stopped smiling; my face hurts!”

Saying goodbye to them was no fun, and even now as I remember, I'm smiling now as I recall the many hugs I gave each of them - in disbelief, in pure happiness, and in reluctance to let them leave. Any time you girls find yourself in the midwest, I'm driving to see you. And that's a promise. (You can also find yourself in Cleveland and I'll show you a good time.)

It was so wonderful to have Mike there with me – honestly, I wasn't sure if I'd rather have it just be girls – but it was nice to have him meet them and fall in love with them as well. (I believe his exact words were, “I feel like I'm a mom who just met her daughter's friends and is very, very happy with how sweet and kind they are.” Ha.)

Who knew that this whole blogging thing could bring you true, real friends? Friends who would drive across the state or find a substitute for work or come after a long day of work to say hello? I am blessed.

PS: I may have fallen in love with these while in LA, too:

Thanks for the recommendation, ladies. (Steph actually wrote down our entire order for us, so I could be sure to get yumminess my first time at In -n- Out.)

My Former Lover...Er, Blog.

This post is a part of 20SB’s Looking Back Blog Carnival, and Ben & Jerry’s is awarding free ice cream to lucky bloggers and readers! (I love Ben and Jerry's. I went to the factory on my honeymoon, in fact.)
..............................................................................................................................

I used to have an old blog. It's embarrassing, actually, how hard I tried to be funny and how often I used exclamation points. I started it in January 2004 to keep in touch with my friends while I was in Hawaii for a semester. (If nothing else, look at the blog to see how lucky I was to live there for four months. Sigh.)

It's fun to look back and see how Mike left comments - it was the beginning stages of our relationship, and he was adorably supportive and ridiculously interested in my updates!!!! of my being in Hawai'i!! Yay!!

Choosing an entry from the first two months that "shows your mentality and outlook from the onset of your blog" was difficult. I mean, this one is an interesting look into growing up (complete with dramatic Garden State quote, of course), these ones makes me hate my current life (why doesn't Cleveland have sea turtles??), this one is a crazy awesome story of hanging out with a homeless guy, and this one is so ridiculously long it's laughable. They are all sort of like long emails, almost painfully chatty:

"I love this new blog. I feel like such a poser calling it a 'blog'. Like I know what a blog even is! It's like some journal online thing. That's all I know. Anyway, I think it's pretty sweet." - 1/26/05

I decided on this abridged (trust me, it needed to be) post:

..............................................................................................................................

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Let Me Be the One You Need

I could try not to make you guys jealous and say that Hawai'i isn't really all that great. That it's just like Dayton with a little more sunshine and a beach. But I'm not gonna lie, it's great! Even just being able to leave at 12am and go find stuff to do is awesome. And the fact that I can wear shorts and t-shirt at night in January and not freeze...well, that's amazing, too! I know I probably sound like a little kid in a candy store, constantly marveling at all this.

.....Chaminade Camping Club is basically a guy, Sam, who drives us around the island and teaches us about the Hawaiian culture and history in a big van with lots of people. Sam...where do I start? As Shannon says "He's part monkey...or part wolf...but he has such a good heart!" He is from Detroit and Hawaii...a weird combination. He loves his rap a lot, I wish you guys could see him dancing while driving the van! He also loves the ocean like no one I've ever seen. He could spend all day with his body board and flippers, fighting against the huge waves. He doesn't walk anywhere, he just runs. It's fun to watch him enjoy everything so much. By the way: he totally can't drive. I fear my life when he drives.

Anyway, today we went to Waimea Bay on the North Shore of Hawai'i, which is known for its HUGE waves...

(Continue reading to hear about a terribly embarrassing story that ensued while at the beach...)

The Subtle Return.

Someone commented on my last, let's-just-try-a-break post that they would eagerly await my triumphant return. Sorry to disappoint.

I'd expected to come back bragging about my new zen-like, peaceful life with clutter-free floors, a job under my belt, life figured out, and a flat stomach. Alas, my house is still messy, I've fruitlessly applied to a dozen jobs, and I still tend to prefer Candy Cane Joe Joes to running.

I'm on my way there, though. Honestly. I chose cuddling with Mike during a movie instead of crafting (I have issues with doing nothing. I love multi-tasking FAR too much to be healthy). I chose cleaning instead of wasting time on Twitter. I chose going to bed instead of staying up on the computer. I learned so much in my graphic design class. I wrote with pen and paper in a real journal. I went to my little sister's retreat and hugged her. I made a bag which I'm in love with. I babysat my cousins. Twice. (see: photo above.) I grew my design business. I spent time with my siblings and parents. I drank tea, I did yoga, and I spent as much time in the sunshine as possible.

Here's to a well-balanced life.

PS: I missed writing. I'm never leaving you, Little Blog. :)

Gimme a Break. Please?

After a wonderful weekend, I came to the realization I am spending more time and energy cultivating and maintaining online presence than I am on the rest of my life.

I'm not so good with balance (Hi, I'm the girl who eats entire sleeves of Candy Cane Joe Joes. Have we met?), and I need to take some time to examine my passions and motivations. I need to take some time to clean my house without thinking about my blog. I need to take some time to breathe and be. I need to do yoga, drink tea, pray, and go outside.

So, I'm signing off for a while. How long? A week? Two weeks? A month? Not forever, but just a little retreat from the internet.

Please don't forget about me, okay?

FAQ Round Two.

Can we call them FAQ even if one one person asked the question?

Anyway, a few more questions and their answers...

Lily asks: What were the first changes you made to your life(style) when you decided that living green was a priority for you?

What a great question, Lily! The very first, most important change for me was reducing waste. This has taken different forms as I've grown and learned more in this lifestyle. At first, it was simply getting a water bottle to avoid all the plastic water bottles I was going through. I started to refuse bags at the store if I could just throw what I'd bought in my own big purse-slash-bag. It slowly, naturally spread to other things. One day my senior year of college, we ran out of paper towels in our house. We just started using normal towels instead. And never bought more paper towels. I didn't think twice about it. And we saved tons of money. I am convinced that no one has an excuse to not be doing these things. It's insanely easy to get a water bottle. Or wash your towels instead of getting disposable ones. It saves money and resources. Win-win.

Now, I avoid most all disposable plastic containers (particularly if they're non-recyclable). I make a ton of my own stuff, including cleaning exclusively with baking soda and vinegar. It's all come so easily and has made so much sense.

I still have some areas where I know I can improve - less driving, not getting coffee if I've forgotten my reusable mug at home, keeping the house colder, and so on. I think the more you become aware, the more you are inclined to want to do. And that makes me happy. Nothing seems to take an unusual amount of effort or thought - it's just the way things are done.

Ashley asks: What about your top 5 fave blogs to read and what your fav blog post you've written so far.

Ah! A hard one. I hate picking favorites - because then someone ALWAYS feels left out, you know? Since I am often one who feels left out (I am so sensitive that I am sad when a blogger I love doesn't have me in their blogroll. It's pathetic.), I'm going to a few awesome blogs that might be under the radar, how's that? Those bloggers who I love and think, More people need to read this!

Hilary @ Alt Christian.
Callina @ The Gingerbread House.
Sara @ Walk Slowly, Live Wildly.

And a few bloggers I've discovered fairly recently and love them to bits. (Hi Kyla Bea and Nicole Antoinette!)

My favorite blog post I've written might be my post for Steph's summer contest about summers at my grandparent's growing up. I had such a unique childhood with my growing up overseas, and sometimes that part of me gets buried, so it was kinda of romantic to remember.

Laura asks: How did you find the courage to open your shop & how do you keep yourself motivated?

Ha. Truth be told, I often act and then think. So, with my Etsy shop, it wasn't so much an issue of having courage - mostly because I figured, Eh, let's give this a shot. We'll see how it goes. Maybe people will like what I create?

I haven't sold a ton yet, so I'm probably not the best person to ask about motivation. I get so much inspiration from books and photos and other Etsy creations that if I happen to be successful with my Etsy shop (when, not if! power of positive thinking, right?), I'm not concered about motivation. There are so many beautiful things in the world. Plus, I aspire to do many things - add candles, soap, and graphic design services. So, I already have big plans and motivation!

I say you go for it, create that Etsy shop! What have you got to lose, honestly?

And I want to share my latest creations for my brand-spankin-new Etsy shop.

Blue Dots Tote $13, Purple Birds Boxy Pouch $5, Hot Pink Star Mini Pouch $4.25

/End NaBloPoMo.

And NaBloPoMo is over.

Let's all exhale.

(And while I'm exhaling, I might just start reading blogs again. Thanksgiving break coincided with NaBloPoMo to leave me with over 600 unread items in my Google Reader. I should post a little less and read a little more. Look sharp, old blog posts.)

And now! The winner of my giveaway was Kate P! Congrats, Kate! Just email your address to ashleymarie6(at)gmail(dot)com.

I'll answer her question first: What is one thing you've always wanted that you would never buy for yourself?

I'm not afraid to want many things. Currently? Adobe CS4, a new PowerBook, a Canon Rebel, and half a dozen design books.

I cannot justify spending all that money, so I will continue to pine away for these things. Le sigh. Maybe next year, when I start to take more design classes (squee!).

And now, I'll answer one more question.

Auburn Kat asks: Why did you start blogging? What is your favorite part about blogging?

In January of 2005, I started a blog to keep in touch with my friends while I went to Hawaii to study for a semester (and play on the beach and work at Coldstone and meet random homeless men. It was the best decision in my whole life, possibly. Other than marrying Mike, of course. Heehee.)

I blogged there very sporadically for a year or two, until I discovered the World of Blogging. It all happened one afternoon my senior year of college when I was trying to find the lyrics to a song. I stumbled across Arwen's blog and I was hooked. What a fascinating idea! People sharing their thoughts, struggles, and triumphs with others through writing. My roommate and I were quickly hooked on reading blogs, despite our friends' taunting . "You don't understand!" we insisted. My roommate even text messaged me when Arwen had her baby. :) No one else understood how we could care about "strangers."

Eventually, I started blogging again. I started reading more blogs and commenting on them. And so it began.

Mike never really understood why I would want to share my "feelings with the whole wide world," so I stopped. And I missed writing. I missed reading. I missed blogging. Shortly after we got married, he had to idea to launch a blog dedicated to personal actions related to the environment and sustainability. I jumped at the chance to blog again, I really missed the satisfaction, almost relief, that comes with expressing myself through words. It morphed from a strictly environmental focus to a somewhat environmental-with-lots-of-randomness-and-self-exploration-thrown-in focus. And that's where are now. And I still love it. (And Mike still teases me about my "online friends".)

My favorite part about blogging is writing and people. I adore writing and being able to put my thoughts into words and my words into coherent posts. It's what I've always loved about journaling. And the friendship and feedback from others is an amazing benefit that I never expected.

I've gotten things in the mail, sent goodies, and made friends with wonderful people I'd never get to interact with otherwise. The beautiful thing about blogging is that we can express ourselves honestly and openly. I could go on gushing about what I love about blogging, but basically, it's YOU.

Seriously.

How's that for a corny answer?

Look out for more answers soon! (And I'd love to hear your answers to these questions as well.)

Come On Over, Come On Over, Baby.

I'm over at Dana's today mourning my loss of work productivity due to blogging.

And asking for your advice.

Please come visit me.

Shhh, I Have A [Blog] Secret to Tell You!

Blog Secret is here! Can you believe it?! The day when dozens of bloggers pour their hearts out and then swap posts. Please read and give this anonymous blogger support, advice, and love! And go here to see a list of all the participating blogs and check out a few.
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The chance to be anonymous is overwhelming. I'm kind of a private person with certain items of my life, and with others I'm an open book. I have one thing I really want to write about but I'm afraid to let it go and put it out there. I'm not really worried about being judged but I think I know what people will say. The other is something I never talk about, not even with my closest friends. So I guess I'll take a deep breath and put them both out there.

I fell in love at 18. I loved Him so much but I walked away from Him one day because there was nothing else I could do. I knew He was dating someone, I was dating someone. We lost touch. I got married, never forgetting Him. Wondering about Him. Still loving the memories of Him. Wanting Him to be happy in life. Wanting to hear Him talk to me one more time. Be careful what you wish for. I ran into Him. We exchanged phone numbers. We talk occasionally and I'm still every bit in love with Him as I was when I met Him. He still has feelings for me too. Life is complicated. We could never be together without completely rearranging our lives. My husband has traits of Him but will never measure up. I hate that I compare them. I hate that I dream about Him frequently and when I wake up it's torture to realize he's not there. I wish life was simple and what I know is right in my heart could be my reality.

At the end of my college career I had gained considerable weight. I could no longer fit into any of my clothes. I weighed 138 pounds. I had always been athletic but my metabolism was changing and my eating habits weren't. At my yearly doctor's appointment he told me I needed to lose weight to lessen my chances of diabetes, kidney failure and high blood pressure. All things that had afflicted my mom and papa, both who had died young. I didn't take his advice to heart at first. But I was miserable that I no longer fit into my size 5 jeans. I had planned a trip with my BFF. We had always been the same size but while my weight was ballooning she couldn't keep any on. I was insecure with my body and jealous of hers. Our trip should have been a blast, but it was anything but. She had changed and didn't want to do anything. Maybe she didn't want to do anything because I was being a complete bitch because of my loss of self-confidence. Our trip was a waste and we ended up not talking for over six months. I apologized but I always felt horrible. We have since patched things up and she is once again one of my best friends. (If you are reading this I am truly sorry for that trip to MB.) I went to the doctor's the next year and was urged again to lose weight. I started exercising regularly and watching my portions. I dropped down to 125 pounds and was so proud of myself. Today I'm maintaining the weight I was when I was in high school. I'm happy and it's not because I'm thinner but because I feel healthy and strong. Now that I'm at my ideal weight I'm so afraid I'll gain it all back. I don't want to become obsessive about it but I don't ever want to feel like I did 3 years ago. It was like I was in a dark hole with no one to talk to. Weight is a funny thing. Almost like politics or religion. I didn't want to offend any of my friends or have anyone patronize me. You know the "oh you're not fat, look at me" blah blah blah. Losing weight is a lifetime commitment. Once you get down to your ideal number you have to work every day to maintain it. I just take it one day at a time.

Maybe I could have put all this up on my own blog, but it's easier to type when I know my name isn't attached to it.

I'm Not A Pretty Crier, Either.

I'm sitting here in the cozy room with a fireplace and big, soft chairs at our local Starbucks. I have a tall, nonfat, decaf hazelnut latte to soothe my aching head, and cute husband sitting across the table typing away on his computer, his psychopathology book open next to him. I am relaxed and at peace now.

I am exhausted, though.

What a roller coaster of a day.

This morning, I got (another) election email from the family. This came after speaking with one of my aunts last night, commiserating over the judgment our family bestows on us (okay, me, she is WAY more covert in her political views than even me). Combine the two and it was just bad timing. [Um, and throw in some hormones.]

I never stand up for myself (see?). I have a passivity problem, but I just got tired of being silent and decided to speak up for myself. I carefully crafted an email to send my mom and dad:

"I respect you and your decisions, so could you please respect me? I am intelligent and well-informed. I care passionately about being civically engaged...I guess I just want to say that just because we don't agree doesn't make us bad people or have bad morals. I am informed and I have convictions just like you guys do."

After I sent it, I felt a huge relief. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had been able to clearly communicate months of frustration and heartbreak. I hoped for an email affirming their love and respect for me. Telling me that, yes, there was more than one way to be a good person. That, of course, they knew I carefully considered things before making my decisions. Disagreeing doesn't mean we are irreconcilable.

Instead, I got a sarcastic and cruel email from my dad, reiterating again his own opinions. He ended his long email with "None of this means we don't love and respect you. We do. Love, Dad"

I was crushed. That one line did not can

Tears instantly welled up in my eyes and I quickly brushed them away and headed to the bathroom before I could really start to cry. I sat in the stall, willing the sobbing into controlled, silent tears. All I wanted was your respect, Dad. Not more debating and arguing.

After 15 minutes, I made it back to my desk. A wave of disappointment and rejection passed over me, and the tears sprung back. My roommate and coworker came over to ask me something, saw the telltale red-rimmed eyes and asked me those fateful words: "What's wrong?"

Cue sobbing into cardigan.

Gosh, I'm classy.

I begged her to pretend like I wasn't crying (public crying humiliates me) and we carried on our work conversation like I was barely squeaking out one word responses. She's a sweetheart for playing my "I'm not crying!" game.

I left work early and found the gorgeous fall day had been taken hostage by a harsh thunder storm. I changed out of my work clothes and went for a walk with my umbrella. I called my little sister, who experiences the same castigation from the family. I shared my day with her, and it was amazing to have my family support me. At least one person in my family who loves me and understands me just the way I am. Someone else who can love our family like crazy but be outraged over their ability to treat us with love and respect this election season.

Sisters are seriously a gift from up above, however corny that sounds.

As I wrote this, I got an email from my mom. It was much, much more gracious. She still debated me, but she included this, which made me so happy:

"I appreciate your candidness on this issue and I so respect your values in many, many ways and am so proud of the fact that you are civic minded. I hope you never feel you cannot be comfortable around your dad and I, that is very sad to think about."

In my very emotional state, I, of course, had a few fat tears rolling down my face. And now my suppressing-a-cry headache is pounding. Whew. Three public cries in one day. I am spent.

I beg you - regardless of your political persuasion, be respectful and loving to those who think differently than you. We need more love and more unity, not more cruelty and hate. You never now how much your words mean to another.

[In all of this, my little community on Twitter was the most supportive group of ladies ever. I received countless messages of support and consolation. It was so encouraging and just what I needed. Sometimes people poke fun at "online friends" and how they aren't "real," but I will tell you - your support and love felt very, very real to me today when I was struggling. So, thank you. You all continue to show me how great this online place is.]

NaBloPoMo. Ugh. Seriously?

Apparently, I'm a masochist. It is with great reluctance and a smidgen of regret that I announce my candidacy for a second annual November month of posting every day (aka: National Blog Posting Month).

I'm used to just posting (sporadically) during the week days, so this might be a little bit of an adjustment.

(Oh, who am I kidding? I'm perfectly capable of talking, er, typing...your ears off.)

Here goes!

What you can expect this month:
- Pictures. Because I can't stop taking them.
- Updates on my dream of getting a degree in graphic design.
- Useful environmental tips.
- More Worth it Wednesdays.
- Random stories. (I just came from a Polish wedding. Complete with a polka band. I am not kidding you. Cannot wait to share.)
- Free Starbucks! And cream-filled maple-iced donuts.
- Okay, not really. But how great would that be?

I just got home from a wedding, like I said. I drank some alcohol. Plus, I am sleepy. I will probably regret this entry AND signing up for NaBloPoMo. It kicked my butt last year. And started off this blog. So, also: Happy blogoversary to me. Or whatever that made up word is. :)

Just, Thanks.

Sharing my exciting (to me) news with the internet and having you all be equally as exuberant as I am just amplified my joy.

So, thank you.

Really. Blogging is such a wonderful community - and having people rally around you when you're struggling or rejoicing is such a blessed thing.

No real post - just wanted to share a picture that made me smile today, despite its blurriness:

If it weren't my husband - I'd think I was kissing a very reluctant young man. :)

And some amazing Apple Pie Crumb Muffins:

Oh, Vegan with a Vengeance, how I love thee.

Classy.

Come over, I'll share! :)