Tuesday, May 19, 2009

When in Doubt, Ask the Internet.

Last night I had my FOURTH interview-slash-meeting and, as I had suspected, they offered me the job.

I'm totally torn and confused about this. After I let the radio decide ("If I hear Taylor Swift before I get home, I'll take the job!") and called Mike, (who suggested, "Let's just talk about this when you get home..." because he was watching Ugly Betty!), I'm coming to YOU, Internet (and lovely friends), for rational decision making abilities.

I'm going to lay out the situation and ask you to cast your vote on what I should do. And I'll...bake you cookies...if you come visit me. :)

The Job: It's big, difficult, far away, and has the potential to be rewarding. It's a LOT of responsibility, and I have little experience in this field. They want to hire me because of my energy and mentor me like crazy. My supervisors are awesome; I'd have a great deal of support, and I'm insanely honored that they considered me, let alone want me to do this. However, there are three Big Obstacles I have to reconcile before accepting:

1) the two-hour-a-day commute (in no traffic...imagine winter, or rush hour!) - it would add 17,000 miles to our car in one year for my job alone. That would cost about $6,800 above and beyond the average commute (20 miles a day).
2) It's not what I really want to do. (At least I think. Though what if it IS and I turn it down?)
3) The responsibility is so overwhelming - three HUGE jobs rolled into one, basically. I'm fairly certain they want me to sign my life over to them. :)

Financial Situation: Mike is quitting his job to be a graduate assistant; he'll be paid enough to cover our food, gas, and every other expense each month - but no health coverage. We have enough savings to pay rent for 8 months.

Life: Next summer, we'll be moving (AGAIN!) for Mike to start a PhD program. Two out of the ten programs are in the area (an hour from The Job); which means I have a 20% chance of staying in the area. Though, he has a better chance of getting in to area programs, so let's say I have a 40% chance of staying in the area.

The Decision: I could take this job OR spend next year substitute teaching, freelancing, taking design classes, sewing, part-time jobbing, and so on.

Why would I choose option two?
1) We're possibly leaving in a year, and they specifically mentioned wanting me to stay several years to get this started.
2) The (two-hour-a-day) commute and demanding nature of the job (weekends, evenings)means no Mike-time ever - let alone Etsy, running, or freelancing time.
3) The Job is not really my passion, but design is!
4) Insane amount of work could leave me frustrated and defeated. (And at the very least: busy.)

Why would I choose the job?
1) Guaranteed financial stability and health insurance.
2) Opportunity to lead, grow, and learn.
3) It's not my passion...yet. Maybe it is and I just don't know!
4) Insane amount of work could leave me feeling rewarded and triumphant.

The Deadline: I have until I leave for the airport tomorrow morning to make the decision. That's a little more than 24 hours. I'm gone all day today and I'll check here tomorrow morning and take seriously your opinions. :)

61 comments:

  1. Ok, my vote was "don't take the job" and i'll tell you why (to help you decide). honestly, i think you'd be unhappy. and to me the biggest con is no health insurance, but you and mike are healthy and paying out of pocket for the minimal amount of health care you need probably wouldn't be too bad for just a year. plus, you can do the fun stuff you like and not spend money on gas or put miles on your car. and i'd say since you have lots of money saved, you'll be ok. and you are right, what if you love doing youth group stuff and just don't know it, but honestly the way to find that out isn't necessarily to take on a HUGE job responsibility. it's called, volunteer at a youth group and see first. but what do i know?
    anyway, good luck in your decision! whatever you decide will be right!

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  2. Funny to read your dilema this morning. I graduated from seminary 2 years ago now and have my student loans breathing down my neck. I have this panicked feeling some times of why did I even go to store? This morning is supposed to be my first morning of committing to the reason why I have turned down jobs such as you are describing: I am supposed to be writing. All the pros you have sound so good and yet... sit quietly and I truly believe GOD will give you peace in what to do.

    -Robin

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  3. I'm not going to say one way or another what I'd do if I was in your position, because when I read this post I know what decision you want to make... you just have to trust in yourself to make it.

    Regardless of what your decision is, whenever you don't have insurance through work, definitely, definitely get some sort of insurance yourself. No matter how healthy you are, there are accidents and unexpected illnesses possibly looming around the corner. The peace of mind alone is worth budgeting for.

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  4. Wow love, this does sound intimidating! I can't say what I think you should do because I don't even know, but another thing to consider (that you might have thought about but didn't list): How do you feel about the people you would be working with/under? Environment can have a huge impact on whether or not you'd be happy at the job. I am 100% confident that you CAN do it, and that you would be good at it. Challenges are really important, and sometimes it makes sense to work really hard for a few years in order to open more doors later. But you shouldn't take the job if you will have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach on your first day. Either way, remember that your job is not the most important part of your life. I will be praying for grace, wisdom and peace for you. Be not afraid!!

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  5. I definitely vote you shouldn't take the job. You don't NEED this job and since the cons against it are pretty great, I think you should wait and explore other options("spend next year substitute teaching, freelancing, taking design classes, sewing, part-time jobbing, and so on"). And really, I did a commute just like that for two years and it drained me. Add a super-tough position on top of that and you are under a lot of stress.

    Best of luck!

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  6. Personally, I never turn down new opportunities. I always feel like I'll regret it more if I turn it down because you never know what will come of it and you might find yourself what if-ing for a long time to come.

    But again, that's just me.

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  7. I think you know what you WANT to do. You don't want to feel stuck in the job when you could be crafting and enjoying life. I say, don't take it. Something else will come along, and you have enough saved to get you by until that time comes. In the meantime, have fun.

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  8. I think you might already know your answer....go with your gut, listen to your instincts, and you can't go wrong. And if you still can't decide...flip a coin ;)
    Good luck & blessings to you in your decision making. You will do great whatever you decide to do!

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  9. Good luck on your decision. I think that only you can make a huge decision like this. You really have to trust your gut with things like this. In the end you will me the right choice for you and Mike.

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  10. It sounds like the job its self could be very tough, even just the getting there and back. At the same time, it sounds like it could help you and Mike transition this year into your new life, and that might have a lot of value depending on the trade offs.

    You can always try it and if after 3 months it doesn't work you have 3 months of steady pay to show for it, and your freelancing will still be there for you.

    Good luck deciding!

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  11. Take the job. Yes, it will be tough; yes, it will suck at times; yes, it will cut into your play time - but you're young and you have many, many more years to craft and play. Opportunities are not plentiful - seize them when they come by. I have found the things I am proudest of in life are the things I wanted to quit in the beginning. It is like investing - you sacrifice a small amount of quality of life now for a great improvement in quality of life later down the road. Suck it up for a few years and make it happen, it will be greatly worth it in the long run.

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  12. I think you feel like you should take the job or you have to. Those are some pretty big cons, and you could still get another job. Personally, I want to enjoy my job and have it bring something to my life, but I don't want it to BE my life. I want to be able to do the things I enjoy (Etsy, spending time with friends and boyfriend) and if my job hindered that, then I think I would come to resent it.

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  13. Normally I'd tell you to take it, because I'm not a "part-time job, living paycheck to paycheck" kind of girl, but if they are specifically telling you this is a multi-year commitment and you accept it knowing full well that there's a good chance you will move in one year, then you would be cheating them. It's not exactly the kind of thing you want attached to your name, you know?

    What you could do is tell them that you are interested but that there's a 50-50 chance you might move away in one year. Let them decide whether they want to take the risk or not. I don't know what kind of job it is, but if working remotely is possible you could suggest that in one year if you move you could still work for them but remotely.

    Hope it helps :)

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  14. I was going to suggest not taking the job as well. My reasons for saying this are:

    - Cons outweigh pros.
    - That's a friggin long commute.
    - It's not what you really want to do.
    - The company wants a commitment of sorts in the amount of time you'll be with them, and you could possibly let them down if you had to leave, which could in turn let you down.

    Good luck with your decision!

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  15. My two cents? I think you know deep down what you should do. I'm guessing you have a nagging gut feeling about this. Go with it. You're right.

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  16. I think you should take it! It might be tough, but when you're young, sometimes you have to pay your dues in order to create even more opportunities for yourself down the line. You will ALWAYS have design and crafting as a fall-back, but you might not always have the opportunity to make a steady salary with health insurance. Taking this job will help to ensure your future opportunities. Especially in an economy where jobs with good benefits are scarce, it might be a good idea to accept the offer and try it out for a while. Even though you know they want you stay for a few years, as long as you aren't signing a contract, you have no formal obligation--life stuff happens, and when it's time to move on, it's time to move on. But you could at least try it out. It probably WILL be stressful and you probably won't have as much time for crafts, etc. But I've learned that when you're young and inexperienced, you kind of have to suck it up and deal with these things until you have enough experience under your belt to call the shots for yourself. Plus, it sounds like an amazing opportunity. I know that design and craft stuff is your passion, but is it a sustainable career choice? It sounds like the job you're taking might be related to youth work (?). When times get tough, people will probably stop buying art, but they will always need someone to help care for their children. It would be wise to get experience in a field that will help you stay employed in any number of "what if" scenarios. And if you really REALLY hate it, then you tell them and quit. You can't know right now whether you will like it or not. So at least try it out for 90 days or so. You probably won't regret the experience, even if it isn't your perfect idea of a job. But you probably will regret it if you don't at least try it out.

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  17. Put me in the camp who thinks you know what you want and just have to suck it up and say so. :)

    And for all the people saying you're young, this is the time to pay your dues and work hard and see what you're made of, I say: this is the time to risk the health insurance thing and live paycheck to paycheck and find out what you REALLY want to be when you grow up! Once you've got a mortgage and a couple of kids, your options narrow- know what I mean? So even though I would probably end up divorcing a husband who had a two hour commute each way, he'd HAVE to take that job!

    But I fully cop to the fact that I have a shamefully weak work ethic, and also am not career-oriented in any way so: EASY FOR ME TO SAY!

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  18. "I turned down that job because some random stalker on the internet told me to." Hmmmm.

    Pro/Con lists are *so* the way to go.

    Take the job...
    you could commit yourself for one year and then use your husband's school as a reason to quit. At least you tried and gained the experience.

    Take the job...
    Everything and anything looks good on a resume and helps you grow as a person

    Take the job...
    Money/insurance/security and a wonderful assurance that you are providing for your family. (I kinda like being a sugar mamma, because this is the only time in our life that this will be the case)

    Take the job...
    books on tape are a wonderful way to pass the car time. Also the commute will be a great time to think about design/life/love

    Take the job...
    and do something fun/creative with the extra money you will have.
    Don't take the job
    other jobs will come along

    Don't take the job
    because you don't HAVE to work right now, and it's a wonderful time to enjoy life

    Don't take the job
    and stay home and make babies (I know you want to!)

    Don't take the job
    and know you made the decision based on what was right for you and your family at the time.

    Good luck! I know these choices are hard and it might be the first but won't be the last.
    Cheers!

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  19. I'm going to say go with your gut on this one, Ash.

    Reading this, I feel like you already know what you want to do. Whatever you choose, you can make it work.

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  20. Ashley,

    This is a tough one. I can understand your reasoning on both sides, and I really think you need to go with your gut on this. It sounds like you've already made up your mind in looking at the pros and cons.

    Let us know which way you choose! *hugs*

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  21. take it from me...commuting is no! Fun! however, the economy calls for financial stability asap...although happiness counts for a lot to! your blog is great!~

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  22. It's so wonderful that you have a hubs who supports you either way!
    My advice would be to keep looking for a part-time job or simple 9-5 job (doesn't have to be your passion) and then pursue your passion after hours. Believe me, I am stuck in a situation where my job is extremely overwhelming and I do not have time or energy to really explore other interests.

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  23. Do what you love, be with the people you care about. Spending quality time with your husband is more important than a fancy title.

    Keep looking.

    xox

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  24. Ashley,

    I say take the job - who says you can't quit if it really isn't working out for you?

    You can look into potential carpools. You can do etsy/design stuff on the weekends or while the hubby is studying next year while in his program.

    I understand the allure of designing, etc, but I feel with our age, while we are still young without little ones running around, I should work my ass off and save (sounds like you guys are doing an amazing job at this) even more so that when I am responsible for more than just myself and my SO, THEN I could stay at home and do 'part time jobs' or 'sell things online'.

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  25. I say, "keep looking." That commute will turn out to be more of a headache than you ever imagined, causing unnecessary stress before you even get to work.

    and it also sounds like there are elements attached to the job that sound like a lot to deal with especially during a time when Mike will also be going transitions.

    good luck and go with your gut :)

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  26. All I needed to see was the commute to know that my vote would be to not take the job. At minimum, two hours a day for a job you don't love? Negative, Ghost Rider!

    I know there's a lot more for you to think about, but honestly, I just don't feel that it's worth the commute issues. Good luck making your decision!

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  27. reading this i feel like you already know deep down what your answer is Ash <3
    your readers have left some fantastic responses tho, i'm praying for you and wish you lots of luck with your decision!!!

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  29. I have that 2-3 hour commute every day and it sucks. This isn't what I signed up for just my office got relocated. Also the job I'm currently in is not my forever job. Why am I still here? Because finding a new job would suck at this time.

    Also, you know they want you to be there more than a year and you don't know if that is possible. You don't want that coming back later and biting you.

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  30. Also - someone above said this is the time to risk the health insurance thing - and I totally, completely, one hundred percent disagree. Maybe it's because I work in health care (currently with cancer patients but previously in an ER/in the ICU of a hospital), but I would go crazy without insurance. I mean, sure, in all likelihood you would make it through these years unscathed. But what if you didn't? What would you do? Healthcare costs are not a pretty sight, and I can tell you right now that hospital billing departments and physician offices are not kind to those in need.

    Take it from a social worker who sees it all -- it may seem okay right now, like you can manage paying a bill here and there for healthcare, but you cannot predict the future. Life is fleeting and unpredictable. Healthcare would be at the top of my list of things to worry about in this situation. Obviously it's not the "be all and end all" of your decision -- you need to like your job and truly want to work there -- but I wouldn't write off health insurance if you can avoid it. I know some situations are less than perfect, but it is a big consideration in my book!

    I say keep looking for new jobs if you're not digging this gig but look into that individual plan (vs. the group plan) or COBRA coverage if he is eligible!

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  31. Also - time commitment isn't a big thing for me - people situations are constantly changing. There is no way to predict the future. It's not the end of the world if you find yourself having to relocate for your hubby in the future. It happens all the time, and while it may suck for the employer, I don't think it should be a huge concern unless they make you sign a contract.

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  32. I think you should follow your heart, love. & it sounds to me like you kind of already know where it's leading you. I don't think you would be happy with a job like this. You keep saying "it's not your passion" or "it's not what I really want to do." There's a big enough reason not to take it right there!

    While things like health insurance & financial stability are very important, I don't think you should sacrifice your happiness. Not that this is something to brag about, but Jonathan & I don't have health insurance... & he'll be quitting his job very soon to be a full time blogger/life coach. It's really scary, yes, but I'd rather him follow HIS dreams (& me follow mine), instead of staying at a job because of financial stability & health benefits.

    I don't know; I think everyone here is giving you great advice... & mine is at the last minute, so I'm sure you've already made up your mind. But I just wanted to let you know my $0.02!

    Also, I think you should read this:

    http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2009/05/15/the-liberation-manifesto-its-time-to-cut-the-cubicle-umbillical-cord/

    :] Take care, love.

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  33. Your commute sounds stressful--is there any way you could move closer to your job? Find a carpool? There are ways around it. Many people who have been laid off in this economy have turned to freelancing and selling cute things online and would probably die for the chance to have a solid job with benefits. And, not to depress you any further, but most people aren't in love with their careers. A lot of people have commented that you need to do what you love and enjoy life, which is really great in theory, but it just isn't always possible when you want to have a family, own a house, be able to go to the doctor, and retire eventually. Plus, you're young--you're bound to have to take jobs where you will work your butt off, and it's not a bad thing. Like my mom says, "it builds character!" To me, life is about overcoming challenges, and adversity only makes you stronger and wiser.

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  34. I think you've already made your decision. But I 110% agree with the person who said "No matter how healthy you are, there are accidents and unexpected illnesses possibly looming around the corner." Not having health insurance is a bad, bad, bad idea - no matter how you have to get it.

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  35. Please go with your gut on this one (because it sounds like you already know what you want to do ... and what you don't want to do). If the job is going to take you away from so many things you really care about and want to be doing, it's probably not right. Also, there is no such thing as "guaranteed" when it comes to life and, in particular, work. Lastly, if you don't think you can hack the commute, don't do it. Until I got a job near my house, I had about a four-hour commute to and from work. It sucked the life out of me and I hope I never have to do it again.

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  36. I don't think that you should take the job. It sounds like it will completely drain you and (in my opinion, anyway) you only get one life to experience with your husband and doing what you love. Life's too short to deal with voluntary soul-sucking careers. If you have some savings and you're not desperate for the income, I think you should pass on this job.

    Good luck in whatever you decide! :)

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  37. Okay I can totally understand your indecision here. I think by reading this you are already leaning one way, mainly based on the commute, which let's face it: that is one doozy of a commute.

    BUT this job sounds like an amazing opportunity. To have supervisors that are willing to invest their time and energy into mentoring you, that is a huge opportunity! I personally would take the job. Draining your savings unnecessarily really might put you in a tough spot potentially. Though knowing you, Have you tried getting a job at Starbucks nearby? Something that is more stable than substitute teaching. But I would give the job a try. You can leave if you feel it's not a good fit.

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  38. Yikes - I could answer this for you from a personal perspective, but that's not what you need. I think you need to pick what works best for you at this time. If long hours and long commutes is not for you right now, then don't pick it. But, I think if the experience, even if you're there less than a year, is worth it to you...then you have to think about that as well. The good thing about it is that if you choose to try it out, it's not like you have to stay there. Anywayyyss, that's my 2-cents! Choose what works best for you.

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  39. I vote for option 2. Sounds really scary, but option 1 doesn't seem to leave much room for happiness. Like you'd be counting down the days right from day 1. I said a prayer for you nonethless because, yikes, big decision.

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  40. You've already heard this from a lot of other people, but just to re-emphasize the point: your post makes it very clear where your heart lies. Don't take the job because you feel like you have to; wait and find something you really want and that you feel excited about. If your financial situation is okay then you can keep looking and either find something you love. Or, find something you'll be okay with doing but isn't a huge commitment/drain. Spending all of your time and effort on something you're not even sure you want to do sounds like a recipe for stress and burn out- don't do it!

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  41. First of all, just wanted to say CONGRATS! on being offered the job! It's nice to have the option of the job, even if you don't end up accepting it.

    I agree with what others have said - I think that in your heart of hearts, you really know what you want to do. What a cop-out answer, huh!? ;)

    Btw, how awesome that you have enough savings to pay rent for 8 months! WOW! I'm so jealous of you and your super money saving ways! I need to follow your lead, lady!

    I hate big scary decisions! And small decisions too. Eeeee! This is so hard!

    Hmmmmmm financial stability or freelancing and happiness?! I guess you have to decide what's more important to you.

    For some people, they'd rather have a job that can guarantee they'll buy a house sooner and have all the extras, etc, etc.

    For others, it's more important to be happy and follow their dreams.

    What's more important to you?

    Then again, just because you choose the job with the health care, $$, etc doesn't mean you won't be happy or that you don't value happiness. Because having more job security and getting a house sooner, the extras, etc can also add to happiness. I mean, not that money = happiness. DUH! Dangit, I don't think I'm explaining myself correctly! I feel like I'm just rambling. Ahh!

    Oh, and like you said - what if this IS your passion?

    Hmmm. BUT! Not having much free time on the weekends and nights and having to commute better mean that it is your passion already. I dunno, it's taking a BIG risk that it's not going to be your passion. I just wouldn't want to commit to not having free time if I wasn't sure it was something I was super passionate about. Yes, some things can be worth it -- maybe if it was a crazy cool design job, etc.... So, based on that, maybe I think you shouldn't take the job.

    I think you should look around for a regular 9-5 job which will allow you time to spend with Mike and do the stuff you love like etsy/design.

    And also, as others have pointed out, maybe you guys should look into healthcare like COBRA or whatever -- I mean, if you don't end up picking the job. Not having health care is scary!

    p.s. Then again, if you take the crazy job, you can always try it out for a couple weeks and then if you hate it, quit and go back to looking for another job/ freelancing. And shhhh! You don't even have to put your two weeks at that job on your resume.

    p.p.s. SO, what does Mike say?

    Hope this rambling comment made some sense! Love you, Ash! Can't wait to hear what you decide!

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  43. Like the others, I think you should go with your instincts. In the end, you know what you can handle better than any of us.

    That being said, I'm from Vermont, and "long commutes in the winter" makes chills of fear go down my spine. Keep in mind too that if the work load is going to be demanding, odds are you'll be working long hours. That, combined with a long commute spells burnout. You really will not have the time to do everything you so enjoy doing (and are so good at!).

    It's a tough decision, and good luck with whichever choice you go with!

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  44. You don't necessarily have to choose between being happy and following your dreams and working to "buy a house" or whatever it is you want. You can find balance. (Eventually.) I'm on the fence here and not sure what to tell you, because I don't know the specifics of the job. The commute sounds scary, and it does sound like you'll be working a lot of hours, but are the benefits good? Do you get a good amount of vacation time/comp time? I think sometimes those tough jobs can turn out to be rewarding in a different aspect of your life, and probably not immediately. Our generation seems to be very into "instant gratification." I'm usually horrible at this (I want it NOW!), but when it comes to my career, I take the "good things come to those who wait" approach. I am following my "dream," and my dream isn't related to my career. My dream is to have a job that provides enough stability and that is somewhat fulfilling, so I can follow my other passions in my own time, while also being financially secure and able to provide for a family when the time comes. And if I have to work hard NOW to achieve a good balance later in life, I'll do it. I don't have kids, so I can take the time to focus on things (work, school) that will help me live the life I want to live when it's really important (to me, that's having a family). It's not always fun, but hard work pays off. You could always try the job for a month or two and if you have to quit, be honest and tell them your heart just isn't in it, etc. and then do whatever you think is best for you after that. It sounds like a good opportunity, and they picked YOU for a reason...aren't you curious to see what it would be like? Good luck with your decision! Oh yeah--you might ask them if there ever might be an opportunity for you to work from home occasionally to ease up on the commute. You can also ask about incentives/assistance with your transportation needs. Tell them what your concerns are and see if they can help you out in any way.

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  45. Hm, tough call for sure! I'm in the middle of making 1001 tough decisions in my life right now so I know advice is wonderful!

    Anyway, I'm not going to say yes or no, seems most people have done that already. But a few things that have come up for me in the past year that I've found REALLY important:

    Healthcare. I was lucky enough in Canada to have free health care. Here in Australia, because I'm not a citizen, not so much. I faced the option of having to pay over $100 to get an asthma inhaler that costs $6 if I'd had health insurance. And I'm a generally healthy, fit person who doesn't need meds on any regular basis etc.

    Transportation. I currently have an hour commute each way for work daily (so 2 hours a day) maybe 1 1/2 hours if everything runs perfectly, but even 2 1/2+ if it doesn't. That being said it's not THAT big of a deal. I still have quality time with my live-in boyfriend, I still have time to get everything done I want to. On the other hand, it means I don't get home until after 6pm and in Australia EVERYTHING closes at 6pm. So I have to go to the big commercial grocery store instead of the small organic one down the street. I can only go to the library on Saturdays (pain in the butt!) and other small things you don't think of when factoring in the time spent on a commute.

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  46. I had to do a 2-hour round trip commute for a one month temp position once. It was brutal. I wanted to kill myself at the end of each day. Do you want to get home from work every single day and feel so exhausted that you can't accomplish a single thing? Didn't think so. You will hate life if you take this job. Not to mention what your husband will start to think of you. Either move or don't take the job. Done.

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  47. I'm going to have to say, in my opinion, you shouldn't take the job. I think that anything that is going to end up hindering you creatively is really, really, going to take a toll on your whole level of happiness. And that commute? Sheesh. I would be a whiny baby by time I got home, and I know that I would miss out on a lot of extra time with my husband. I don't think I could do it!

    The thing is, you are insanely creative, driven and energetic. You have all these dreams involving design, and your etsy shop is just now taking off! I would hate to see you taking a job just for the financial security. Although, I do understand that is a huge issue - believe me.

    The thing is, I think you'll be just fine without the job. Granted, I see a small fraction of your life through this blog, but you know? I honestly don't think you'll be given more than you can handle in this life. There will always be ways to make money, and they don't have to involve ginormous jobs that are far away and slightly intimidating. There will always, always be more job offers in the future - despite the fact that it doesn't seem like it now.

    Having said that, you're a smart girl, and I know that you'll make the right decision for yourself. I'm just giving my opinion based on what I see in you, and what I know I'd be able to handle myself.

    :)

    Chin up, my dear. We are all rooting for you.

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  48. So... when you start driving a car 2 hours a day (10 hours a week, 40 hours per month, 20+ FULL days per year) are you going to stop calling yourself a tree-hugging environmentalist? I mean, really, there isn't much worse that a single person can do to destroy our planet. Sorry.

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  49. I've had so the same decision.

    If you can get enough money doing subbing, I say go for it. Look for a "building sub" or maternity leave position. You'll still be with kids (which may or may not be your passion) and you'll still get some money.

    Look into being a paraprofessional or teacher's aide. They get benefits and insurance at most schools! Of course, you might not get hired for summer this late in the game, but probably fall and spring semesters!

    Its so much easier for me to see the clear path from you, since I am miles away and stuck in my own confusing career path.

    Any chance one of the PhD programs is at Mizzou?

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  50. PS - there are way worse things you could do for the environment. you could leave your water on all day everyday. you could dump toxic chemicals in to rivers for fun.

    Don't let that meanie guilt you out of a temporary job. I am sure you'll make up for it other ways.

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  51. Re: commute=tree-hugging hypocrite thing, you can probably find a carpool. I still vote for at least telling them you would like to take the job, but then voice your concerns over the commute and see what they can do for you (telecommuting, etc.). It doesn't hurt to ask. It is a long way to drive, but what if you actually LIKE the job? You should think back to the reasons why you applied for it. If you were genuinely interested in the position, it might be worth considering. If it was just something you were interested in to make a good salary, then maybe not. Is your commute two hours total or two hours each way? If it's two hours each way then that's pretty dang bad, although I do know people who drive four hours each way (crazy Californians!).

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  52. I think every job is an opportunity to find what you love (or what you know you never want to do again!).

    I wouldn't turn down the job just because you *think* you might be moving.

    I would, however, turn down the job if you just don't think you're into it. (Which it doesn't sound like you are.)

    BUT, they obvi think you are qualified for this opportunity, so don't sweat the challenge.

    One more consideration: you're with the people you work with more than you're with anyone else (for the most part). Did you get to meet the peeps you'd be working with? That could make a huge difference in whether you like (or don't like) your new job.

    Good luck!

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  53. I totally sympathize with the commute-hate (for myself there is a good chance of a long commute with a new job), but I did vote to take the job. The cons you listed are mostly external ones that could possibly be overshadowed by a really good work experience, and by a positive attitude toward accepting change. (example, you say "no crafts time" but that just might mean "no crafts time as the schedule works right now and it needs to be reworked.")

    I'm in the trenches right now--not exactly where I want to be, but I'm putting my learning into action. Paying my dues, if you will. While there are moments I absolutely want to walk out (wrong paycheck 3x in a row now), there are other really good times (like that older man I helped with tracking down a friend from college).

    I've been praying for everyone I know who's looking for a job--you know you're on the list. And my cousins are moving to Columbus in July, so maybe I'll have to come visit them and take a side trip for homemade cookies. :)

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  54. I think every job is an opportunity to find what you love (or what you know you never want to do again!).

    I wouldn't turn down the job just because you *think* you might be moving.

    I would, however, turn down the job if you just don't think you're into it. (Which it doesn't sound like you are.)

    BUT, they obvi think you are qualified for this opportunity, so don't sweat the challenge.

    One more consideration: you're with the people you work with more than you're with anyone else (for the most part). Did you get to meet the peeps you'd be working with? That could make a huge difference in whether you like (or don't like) your new job.

    Good luck!

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  55. You've already heard this from a lot of other people, but just to re-emphasize the point: your post makes it very clear where your heart lies. Don't take the job because you feel like you have to; wait and find something you really want and that you feel excited about. If your financial situation is okay then you can keep looking and either find something you love. Or, find something you'll be okay with doing but isn't a huge commitment/drain. Spending all of your time and effort on something you're not even sure you want to do sounds like a recipe for stress and burn out- don't do it!

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  56. take it from me...commuting is no! Fun! however, the economy calls for financial stability asap...although happiness counts for a lot to! your blog is great!~

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  57. "I turned down that job because some random stalker on the internet told me to." Hmmmm.

    Pro/Con lists are *so* the way to go.

    Take the job...
    you could commit yourself for one year and then use your husband's school as a reason to quit. At least you tried and gained the experience.

    Take the job...
    Everything and anything looks good on a resume and helps you grow as a person

    Take the job...
    Money/insurance/security and a wonderful assurance that you are providing for your family. (I kinda like being a sugar mamma, because this is the only time in our life that this will be the case)

    Take the job...
    books on tape are a wonderful way to pass the car time. Also the commute will be a great time to think about design/life/love

    Take the job...
    and do something fun/creative with the extra money you will have.
    Don't take the job
    other jobs will come along

    Don't take the job
    because you don't HAVE to work right now, and it's a wonderful time to enjoy life

    Don't take the job
    and stay home and make babies (I know you want to!)

    Don't take the job
    and know you made the decision based on what was right for you and your family at the time.

    Good luck! I know these choices are hard and it might be the first but won't be the last.
    Cheers!

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  58. Normally I'd tell you to take it, because I'm not a "part-time job, living paycheck to paycheck" kind of girl, but if they are specifically telling you this is a multi-year commitment and you accept it knowing full well that there's a good chance you will move in one year, then you would be cheating them. It's not exactly the kind of thing you want attached to your name, you know?

    What you could do is tell them that you are interested but that there's a 50-50 chance you might move away in one year. Let them decide whether they want to take the risk or not. I don't know what kind of job it is, but if working remotely is possible you could suggest that in one year if you move you could still work for them but remotely.

    Hope it helps :)

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  59. I think you might already know your answer....go with your gut, listen to your instincts, and you can't go wrong. And if you still can't decide...flip a coin ;)
    Good luck & blessings to you in your decision making. You will do great whatever you decide to do!

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  60. I definitely vote you shouldn't take the job. You don't NEED this job and since the cons against it are pretty great, I think you should wait and explore other options("spend next year substitute teaching, freelancing, taking design classes, sewing, part-time jobbing, and so on"). And really, I did a commute just like that for two years and it drained me. Add a super-tough position on top of that and you are under a lot of stress.

    Best of luck!

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  61. Funny to read your dilema this morning. I graduated from seminary 2 years ago now and have my student loans breathing down my neck. I have this panicked feeling some times of why did I even go to store? This morning is supposed to be my first morning of committing to the reason why I have turned down jobs such as you are describing: I am supposed to be writing. All the pros you have sound so good and yet... sit quietly and I truly believe GOD will give you peace in what to do.

    -Robin

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