Thirty-Seven & Thirty-Eight.

[Welcome to the Whinier Edition]

How far along? 38 weeks.

How big is baby? Oh, who the heck knows? Possibly over six pounds and over nineteen inches long. I’ll find out soon enough.

Total weight gain: +26 lbs. (Seeing the scale tell me I weigh so much surprisingly doesn’t make me feel disappointed or frustrated – feelings I feel normally when my weight goes up even a few pounds. I am embracing it, knowing the numbers will soon stop creeping up.)

Maternity Clothes? I am fairly certain I’ll never want to wear these clothes again. Most of them are stained or pilling from washing them constantly since I have so few clothes I can wear. I feel like a slob. And I am stuck wearing my Tevas all the time, because all my other shoes are either too tight (I swear my feet don’t look that swollen – but apparently my feet are fat now) or not cushioned enough (hello, cute Target sandals). I am the picture of professionalism at work, let me tell you what.

Stretch marks? Still none on the belleh. Perhaps I have very elastic skin?

Sleep: A night in the life of Ashley, the Very Pregnant Woman:

10:30pm- get in bed, play Words with Friends with Mike and read

11:15pm- fall asleep

12am – get up to pee, fall back asleep

3am – get up to pee, can’t fall back asleep

3:45am – still can’t sleep. Am starving. Attempt to eat some ClifBar without making a ton of noise and waking Mike up. Think about how hard it will be when Mike is in school when the baby first comes home. I’ll have to wake up and feed the baby quietly so as not to wake him up, since he’ll not be able to nap during the day. Worry about how that will work. Think about getting a night light. Wonder where we’d plug it in…

4:45am – decide to get up and eat some cereal while checking my email and Twitter. Eat two bowls of cereal. Marvel at my ability to eat so much all the time.

5:45am – pee, then go back to bed, fall asleep. (Praise God!!!!!!!!!!!)

9:35am – wake up and practically hug myself when I realize I was able to fall back asleep

(This was a weekend night – I have to leave for work by 7am during the week, which isn’t so forgiving with insomnia.)

Movement: I am fairly certain this child has BRUSIED MY RIBS with his kicking. I am not even kidding. My right ribs hurt with a stabbing pain when I breathe deeply or when I stretch or move my arms or laugh. Some extensive Googling found that it isn’t uncommon for women, especially petite ones, to experience the joy that is bruised ribs during the end of pregnancy. And the only cure is delivery. Awesome.

Food cravings: Cereal. Always with the cereal. Tater tots and potatoes in general also sound fabulous – I made these last week and just, yes. Make them. I am fully taking advantage of my desire to eat everything for these last few weeks. Amen. (Even though I am sort of loathing how flabby my arms look when I see at the pictures from my shower.)

What I miss: My body is no longer my own. I have no control over when I sleep or don’t, my bones are creaky, and my brain can’t stop. During a bout of insomnia the other night, I had an image of myself being a puppet and my tiny little baby controlling my body from inside of me. It was creepy, especially because the baby was wearing a top hat and cackling with evil laughter in my awake-insomniac-nightmare. (Basically, I miss being not crazy.)

What I am looking forward to: Maternity leaaaaave. No, I don’t get much paid time off (I am using all my sick days and am quite bitter about the whole situation), but I am at the point where I am mentally checked out at work and can’t wait to not have to get dressed for work or commute or pack my lunch or think about anything other than my baby for a few months. Sigh. Sweet little baby.

Milestones: We created and shared our birth plan with our midwife – and she completely confirmed our decision to give birth at the hospital birthing center we chose. With all the other feelings I’m experiencing as my due date approaches, feeling secure and confident in where we’ve chosen to give birth is wonderful. We also got a baby book that we love. It’s cute and clever and perfect for us. I’ve had two baby showers given by my family – which means my baby now has 60 onsies for his first six months of life. It’s actually really touching to look around our apartment and see how generous our family and friends are. We have probably spent less than $200 on things for the baby – and have very little left that we truly need for him.* We are so blessed!

*(This doesn’t keep be from waking up in the middle of the night worrying about what we still need and how we are going to buy it, of course. I am anxious and pregnant, after all.)

Say What?:

"I want to watch you walk from behind and see if you're waddling."

"Looks like you're going to have a nice, healthy baby there. You're big!"

“Oh, I bet he’s just kicking the slats out of you now.”

“You’re still here?!”

“Oh, hi. Just checking to see if you’re still here.”

“You’re due in two weeks and you’re still working? That’s dedication!”

I am still here, friends. And the next time someone asks me, “So, does the doctor say anything? Is he going to be early? Late?” I’ll respond, “She said he’s going to just stay in there forever.”

Oh, and THIS: My 3-week-old cousin. Seeing this face makes me so excited to meet our little one.
All this pregnancy stuff really isn't so bad since it ends with:

Thirty-Five & Thirty-Six.

 Taken at 35 weeks, 6 days.

[Welcome to the Whiny Edition]

How far along? 36 weeks

How big is baby? Almost six pounds and over eighteen inches long.

Total weight gain: +23 lbs.

Maternity Clothes? Am so tired of them. And my clothes selection is dwindling as my stomach grows. So, unless I feel comfortable baring my rounded midriff, I’m stuck with about three different outfits. I've realized that being pregnant during the summer has its perks though - I can get away with just tank tops, t-shirts, skirts and flip flops without anyone batting an eye.

Stretch marks? Same old, same old. None on my belly. Though I do have some pretty impressive veins on my belly.

Sleep: What’s that again? I probably shouldn't complain since I'll apparently be sleeping EVEN LESS once the baby is actually born. Hold me. (Or come over and help me.)

Movement: Ouch. It almost seems like my uterus isn’t big enough for all this baby wiggling around inside of me. He is firmly head down, with spine always along the left side of my stomach and his feet jabbing the right side. Sometimes I even feel his little hands moving down by his face, which sort of tickles. He's starting to displace amniotic fluid as grows, which means I can feel more movement. It can actually get bothersome and even painful, but when Mike talks to him, he usually calms down. I'm hoping his baby whispering skills work outside of the womb as well.

Food cravings: All food equals heartburn. Breathing equals heartburn. Drinking water equals heartburn.  Food just isn't as enjoyable as it was earlier in pregnancy! Things I love lately include: s'mores, squash and zucchini, these muffins, drinkable yogurt, and watermelon. Of course.

What I miss: When my belly was cute and little and manageable, instead of scary and big. My stomach may not look huge, but when you compare it to when I thought it had "popped"…

Thirteen weeks. Thirty-six weeks. BAM.

...you can understand why my body is feeling the strain. (And let's not talk about the obvious growth of my butt and thighs.) Even at twenty weeks, I looked incredibly smaller. I shudder to think of my poor body growing and stretching for FOUR MORE WEEKS. (Or even longer if I got past-term!) I see girls due two months after me whose bellies are the same size, so I feel like I shouldn't complain about my body feeling strained. But I think it's because I have the body of a 12-year-old am so petite.

What I am looking forward to: Becoming full-term next week. Feeling ready to give birth and be a mom. Not feeling like a whiner. I hate feeling like a whiner. And, I'll say it again - being small enough to hug my husband tightly. He is still attracted to me (somehow!), but I can't wait until I am less large.

Milestones: I’ve enjoyed a fairly active pregnancy – I ran and even did Jillian’s 30 Day Shred a few times during my first and (part of my) second trimesters. I’ve done tons of yoga, walked several times a week, and went on lots of bike rides. The idea of facing the most athletic event of my life (hello, labor) after sitting on my butt for nine months terrified me, so I wanted to try and stay in some sort of shape. I also realized that inactivity actually caused me more back and hip pain, which was a huge motivation. However, I have reached the stage where the prenatal yoga that was previously laughably easy is now a bit challenging. I even get short of breath walking down stairs. My body has officially had enough. I feel like a creaky old woman. I also saw a chiropractor for the first time due to creaky old woman-ness. The jury is out on whether a) I can afford to go regularly, and b) it helps significantly.

Say What?:

“When is the blessed event taking place?”

“The end of August”

“You know what you should name him-it IS a him, right? I could tell because boys are usually carried low like that. Well, you should name him Maurico after me. My name is Maurice, and the Spanish version is Maurico.” - random guy on the street

“You gonna name him after me? The maintenance man!”

“I would have bet 100 to 1 it was a boy. You look like an athletic kinda girl; a little macho.” - random guy on the street #2.

"I just LOVE babies. I love puppies, too." - my almost-five-year-old cousin (who shares a birthday with Mike and my due date).

Trying to help him understand how difficult it is to bend over and pick something up when you have a big belly. Seeing him try to touch his toes was the most adorable thing you've ever seen.

Oh, and THIS: I pee a thousand times a day. Apparently the baby’s head is pretty far down, which is part of the reason some people say I look small. And part of the reason I pee constantly. And part of the reason my pelvis and hips belong to an 80-year-old woman.

Thirty-Three & Thirty-Four.

Photo taken 33 weeks, 4 days. 

How far along? 34 weeks, 3 days.

How big is baby? 4.75 lbs, almost 18 inches long. We were grocery shopping and I put two two-pound bags of sugar in Mike's hand and said, "OUR BABY WEIGHS MORE THAN THIS." Mike said that's why he's been working out so much lately.

Total weight gain: +22 lbs. I haven't started waddling when I walk, I can still shave my legs and paint my toenails, and I tie my shoes easily. However - my pregnant thighs in the summer heat means they rub together like  WOAH. I have to plan my skirt-wearing according to how much I expect to sweat. It's hot.

Maternity Clothes? 80% of what I wear isn't officially maternity. 80% of what I wear shouldn't be worn out in public. See: video blog from yesterday.

Stretch marks? Stop rubbing it in. YES, OKAY? (But still not on my stomach. Or maybe I just can't see them because my stomach is so big.)

Sleep: A nap a day seems to work better than actually expecting to sleep well during the night. The amount of times I get up to go to the bathroom is a little out of control. I mean, really, body.

Movement: We had a great moment two weeks ago when my friend's husband was forced to feel the baby move. He apparently is afraid of touching pregnant bellies, but Mike literally dragged him over to my stomach and put his hand on my belly. You should have seen his face. It was priceless. Mike continues to be subject to my whining about how much the baby is jabbing my insides, and sometimes gets freaked out by just how well you can feel the baby's heel, spine, butt, and so on because my skin seems super thin.

Food cravings: I didn't blog about my pregnancy during my first trimester, but I had a pretty strong aversion to lettuce. As in, I had to take my purse and put it in another office because I was convinced it smelled like lettuce. It was bad. It's weird - because I used to love salad. I still don't really like it, but I'll bribe myself to eat some with a baked potato. I'm st obsessed with all fruit and I have a bowl of cereal every single night (Hey, it's my ice cream. And probably a bit healthier.) Out of nowhere, I had a craving for these cupcake-ice cream cones that I used to bring to school on my birthday when I was little. I made them with my 5-year-old niece, and HOLY YUM. They totally lived up to my memories.

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach, less hormonally-induced mood swings, and hugging my husband really tightly. In some ways, it's sort of sweet that our baby is between us when we hug, but mostly, I just want to be a normal person without a twenty-two pound bowling ball on my stomach.

What I am looking forward to: Sitting on Mike's lap without crushing him. Getting up off the floor  without grunting and panting. Also, not having heartburn. I get it pretty much anytime I eat now, instead of only if I eat before bed. I take some Pepcid if I can't sleep because of heartburn, but during the day, it's just obnoxious.

Milestones: Babies born after 34 weeks have no long-term problems. Holla! Although I'm fairly certain (and happy!) that I won't be going into labor anytime soon.

Say What?:

I went to a family reunion, where most of them hadn't seen me pregnant. Here's what they had to say:

"You're so skinny and then BAM! That stomach!"

"You look just like your mom when she was pregnant." - Really? Because I so do not. 

"It's like you've just got a soccer ball stuffed under your shirt!"

"You look like you're four months along!" - I've heard talk of pregnant girls who get annoyed when people make comments about their size. But, in my opinion, as long as they're saying things like this and not things like, "You look huge! You're going to pop!" I am a happy girl. Being told I look small when I feel pretty gigantic is absolutely wonderful.

"I don't mean to be rude, but how far along are you?" - Man outside of McDonalds. For some reason, I think it's absolutely adorable when men ask questions about pregnancy. It always makes me happy. I assured him that he wasn't being rude at all. (And my niece who was with me asked, "Who is that man?" I told her that people like to talk to you when you're pregnant. Heh.)

Taken at 33 weeks, 6 days.  In the bathroom at Chuck E Cheese. So very classy. 

Oh, and THIS: You will never hear me say that nine months have gone by way too fast, or wishing away the rest of my pregnancy. When I hear girls who are newly pregnant mourn the fact that they have nine! whole! months! to wait, I cannot sympathize. I'd like MORE time, not less! There is so much to figure out and get in place and, also, this. Plus! Sure, I am a bit uncomfortable now, but it's not like when I'm done being pregnant I'll get to sleep lots and be all comfortable. I'll be figuring out how to take care of a teeny tiny human being. With a husband that has just started a PhD program.  And a drastically reduced income. Hold me.

Thirty-One & Thirty Two.

How far along? 32 weeks, 3 days.

How big is baby? 3.75 lbs - he's supposed to be gaining half a pound a week now. WHAT. He's also 16.7-ish inches long.

Total weight gain: +18 lbs.

Maternity Clothes? I am happy to say I haven't bought any more maternity clothes in the past few months - holding strong with my four tank tops, four t-shirts, and five stretchy skirts. I also have three pairs of shorts, a pair of jeans, two pairs of capris, and two pairs of khakis. And three dress shirts. And two long-sleeve shirts. And a dress. Actually, that sounds like a lot - but much of it was free. My aunts and mom like to give and buy me clothes, thankfully.

Stretch marks? Just the little purple ones I talked about last week. None on the big ol' belly yet.

Sleep: Meh. I've been using my Boppy (thanks, Kat!) to sleep with at night, which was my best idea ever. I don't have much trouble falling asleep, but I can't stay asleep in the morning because I feel like I'm 90 years old with achy hips. (Our new apartment has a bathroom IN OUR ROOM, though - which makes for much easier 2am trips to the bathroom!)

Movement: Seriously painful sometimes. He's supposed to be sleeping most of the day by now, but it sure doesn't seem like it. Which makes me worried if this is any indication of how much he'll sleep when he's outside of me. Of course, when we had a fetal monitor test, he hardly moved at all. So uncooperative.

Food cravings: Water. Melon. In any form, including my favorite, watermelon slushy:

 Blend frozen and fresh watermelon together. Mmm. Like an ICEE but less overly sweet and unhealthy.

I also made these cookies and turned them into ice cream sandwiches. Oh, yes.

What I miss: Same old, same old. Not having achy hips, sleeping, not receiving unsolicited advice. Blah, blah, blah.

What I am looking forward to: Ikea. Today. Massage. Next week. Amen.

Milestones: Plenty of Braxton Hicks. My little uterus is gearing up for the big day!

Say What?:

“Good luck with Junior!” – dude at Costco who stands near the exit and checks your receipt.

Me: “Hi! How are you doing?” Co-worker: “Not as cute as you.”

“You’ve got a baby in there. Remember, it’s a baby, not a potato!” [blank look] “Sorry, I’m one of those crazy pro-life people” – lady in Costco’s bathroom

"Now, this is the perfect couple right here." - Teenage boy to his friends outside the library. Mike responded, "Yeah. We are."

And lots of advice:

"Looks like you'll be needing this soon." - Man outside the library hands us a card that says, "AUSTISM IS CAUSED BY VACCINES! THE DEVIL! AH!" Seriously.

"Hello- I was recently reading an article about cell phones and radiation. It said there are serious concerns about children using cell phones because of their "soft" skulls. It probably isn't a good idea to use your cell phone near your stomach which you're pregnant. Have a good day and a happy family. =)" - Note handed to me by a random woman at the coffee shop. It was an iPod touch, for the record. I was playing Words with Friends.

Oh, and THIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you’ve heard the pregnant ladies whine about heartburn. I am no exception. Last week, I woke up in the middle of the night, overcome with nasty heartburn. (I’d never really experienced heartburn or acid reflux until being pregnant.) I propped up my shoulders and back to try and get relief. I sat on the floor cross-legged to try and get some relief. I took a few acidophilus capsules to try and get some relief. Five minutes later, I found myself perched on the edge of our bathtub, puking my guts out. Heartburn so wicked it literally made me sick. Ah, so glamorous is pregnancy.

Twenty-Nine & Thirty.

30 weeks, 5 days

How far along? 30 weeks, 6 days. This means my pregnancy is 75% over. WOAH.

How big is baby? He measured three pounds and one ounce last Tuesday. And is around seventeen inches long.

Total weight gain: +17 lbs.

Maternity Clothes? 80% of the time, I’m wearing these tank tops and these lounge shorts. The rest of the time (when I go out in public), I’m sporting skirts, t-shirts, and scarves. My maternity wardrobe is much plainer and simpler than my usual clothes, but I'm actually finding it nice change of pace.

Stretch marks? Yes. Well, I’m pretty sure. There are a few tiny ones. I don’t want to talk about where they are. (Not on my belly. Gah.)

Sleep: Sucks. My iPod and I are nocturnal friends again – Howie Day and Jon Foreman are my current dear-God-I’m-awake-again-help-me-fall-asleep singers. I shove one earbud in my ear and the other against my belly in the waistband of my shorts, hoping it helps the baby fall asleep (and stop moving so I can, too!).

Movement: His bones are strengthening right now – which means he’s a bony little child with the ability to cause me much pain. Often, I can’t lean forward or he’ll jab me in the ribs or hip bone, which hurts more than it should for a three-pound baby. He is still active most of the day, to the point where it is distracting when I’m at yoga class or sitting at work. After the ultrasound last week, I know that he is head-down, and can figure out which body part I’m feeling when he moves.

Food cravings: So, it’s summer. I usually eat less in the summer because it’s hot and we use ceiling fans instead of air conditioning and who gets super hungry when it’s hot? Not me. I can consume an entire watermelon in 2 days, though. Yum. Drinking lots of water and juice and iced tea also makes me happy.

What I miss: I’m starting to get the whole “pregnancy is uncomfortable!” thing. It’s not terrible – but I’m used to be very nimble and moving around a whole lot. I’m used to jumping up from sitting on the floor, running up the stairs, and generally just doing things without having a bowling ball strapped to my stomach. I have to ease myself up from bed or from sitting cross-legged on the floor. My legs hurt when I stand in the kitchen cooking or packing for an hour. I get out of breath when I try to ride too fast on my bike. It’s all sort of annoying, to be honest. I make sure to be as active as I possibly can and do yoga regularly to make sure my body won’t ache. It’s working so far – I’ve gone on a bike ride every day this week, lots of walks, and a few yoga sessions. I packed for a few days (no carrying boxes – I am pretty weak, pregnant for not). I feel great. I just miss my body not creaking when I get out of bed in the morning.

This is what a pregnant blogger looks like.

What I am looking forward to: Experiencing childbirth with Mike at my side and seeing our baby. Getting to stare at him all day long and holding him. :) Squee! Babies are cute.

Milestones: We bought our first baby clothes! A grandpa cardigan, Star Wars shirt, and sweater with elbow patches. They were on clearance and we couldn’t resist. We nearly bought him a fedora, too, but it wasn’t on clearance. Someday, little man. I’m getting to the point now where it seems real that we’ll have a baby in two months – so I’ve been checking out the baby sections of stores to make myself happy. (Baby fever is totally okay to induce when you’re actually going to *have* a baby, right?) I’m now seeing my midwife every two weeks instead of once a month! I also seemed to have turned the corner from, “She’s probably pregnant, but I don’t want to say anything” to “Must comment to pregnant lady about her being pregnant.” People are way friendly to you when you are nearly seven months pregnant – it’s mostly awesome. On that note, I’m adding a new section to remember what people say to me…

Say What?:

“Looks like someone’s having a BAM-bi-noooo!” - Man sauntering towards us as we wait at the ATM.

“Y’all gonna have one pretty little boy.” – Teenage girl waiting next to us as we waited to cross the street. She then asked me if I was on a walk for exercise. Cute.

“I always say tiny women have huge babies.” – Guy at the coffee shop counter. I told him I hoped to avoid the HUGE baby thing.

“Wow. You look…fabulous.” – Manager at breakfast restaurant. I may or may not have hugged him after he said it.

“Ash. I’m sorry, but your boobs are REALLY BIG.” – My lovely friend who hadn’t seen me in a few months.

Oh, and THIS: Pregnancy hormones sometimes wake me up with anxiety about childbirth, baby’s well-being, or random things that happened years ago. Last week, I cried for an entire day. It was exhausting and ridiculous. Poor Mike. It’s a bit cruel that a huge life change is accompanied with a surge in hormones. Not fair, nature, not fair.

In other weird news, hair during pregnancy rejects being dyed – so three weeks after I dyed my hair, the gray hairs are back with a vengeance. NOT. COOL. I’m giving up for a few months and just rocking my strands of gray. (Yes. I’m 25 and have a few dozen noticeably gray hairs. Let’s not talk about it.)

Twenty-Seven & Twenty-Eight.

How far along? 28 weeks, 2 days. Twelve more weeks left! Though a friend and a cousin both recently had their babies five weeks early which freaks me out completely – because then I could have a baby in SEVEN WEEKS. Woah. Slow down.

How big is baby? Somewhere around two-and-a-half pounds and nearly sixteen inches long.

Total weight gain: +16 lbs. Pretty sure it's all in my stomach (and maybe a little in my upper arms, which I don't want to talk about), which I used to my advantage yesterday when trying to get Mike to go for a walk. As in, "Mike, can YOU imagine carrying sixteen extra pounds in your stomach? How can you not go on a walk with me?"

Maternity Clothes? How about maternity SHOES? I had to get a pair of sandals to wear to work since my feet are…getting bigger or swelling or something. Pretty. In maternity wear, stretchy (non-maternity) skirts and scarves are my favorite things as of late. Happily, school is nearly out, so I can dress even more casually at work soon. (i.e.: Stop wearing the same two pairs of “dress” pants.)

Stretch marks? Still none!

Sleep: I’ve started getting up for a nightly pee. … Gosh, pregnancy makes me willing to share odd things. Sorry, friends. Honestly, though, it’s not too bad and I fall back asleep fairly easily.

Movement: He's almost never NOT moving. We’re in the process of interviews at work, and it is pretty difficult to focus on asking and listening to questions when it feels like something is trying to claw its way out of your stomach. He is ridiculously active, almost to the point where I’m considering Googling, “Can a fetus move too much?”

Food cravings: Although I’m sure it’s disappointing to those who like to ask The Most Popular Question Ever for Pregnant Women (along with, “Do you know what you’re having?” “What are you naming him?” and “How are you feeling?”), I don’t have any exciting answers for what I am craving. I drink mostly water and I’m eating pretty normally, with a few more indulgences (frozen yogurt and Lucky Charms) and more attention to my protein and nutrient intake.

What I miss: Not being under hawk-eyed watch by every single person I ever see. I really do appreciate the concern that I’m not able to walk down stairs without tripping, but it makes me feel like you think I’m an idiot!

What I am looking forward to: Having time to get ready for moving and baby and going for more walks. School is out for the summer! I still work, but fewer days a week, which means more time for exploring this so-called ‘nesting’ thing that seems to be so popular with pregnant women.

Milestones: THIRD TRIMESTER. WHAT. OMG. There is a “good chance” that the baby would survive if it was born now. Crazy. I got my first cloth diapers as a gift, which brings my total baby items to: a diaper bag, three cloth diapers, a few blankets, a few outfits, a few books, an infant carrier, and a few toys. A few more onsies and diapers, a car seat, a stroller, and a place to sleep and we’re good to go for the first few months! Or…something like that.

Another example of using non-maternity clothes on a big, fat pregnant belly - most sundresses are perfect. It's great.

Oh, and THIS: My entire body is ridiculously itchy.

I feel like I haven’t gotten to many life updates around my little ol’ blog. All I have to say is: Expecting your first child is overwhelming and exciting. Expecting your first child, moving, and your husband starting a PhD program in the same summer is just plain crazy. We’re pretty much little stressballs right now, trying to figure out if we’re going to live near my work or his (an hour apart) and how often I will work and who will take care of our child and whether we should buy a second car (I cringe even writing that) and whether we’d prefer to live somewhere uber-suburban and near the babysitter (my mom) or live somewhere more walkable but farther from the babysitter (thus complicating commutes). Can you begin to understand why I feel like my head might explode with options? Oh, and we have 2.5 weeks until we plan on moving our lease ends. Um. Oops?

I also have to figure out whether I’ll be changing midwives/hospitals if we move and find a pediatrician and figure out our health insurance after the baby is born and make decisions about vaccines and circumcision and read as much about childbirth and breastfeeding as I possibly can…

*BOOM*

That was the sound of my head exploding.

Twenty-Five & Twenty-Six.

 Twenty-five weeks.

How far along? 26 weeks, 2 days. AKA: ALMOST SIX FREAKING MONTHS. This is the last week of my second trimester. WOAH.

How big is baby? Nearly two pounds and fourteen inches long. This is getting into legit baby territory, my friends.

Total weight gain: +14 lbs. I’m right on track – I want to avoid gaining more than I should, as it makes the baby bigger (ouch) and is harder to lose afterward (which can’t help postpartum blues). Definitely not depriving myself (did I tell you about the funnel cake fries??), but also eating mostly well and staying active. Moderation. Woo!

Maternity Clothes? I actually had an awesome realization last week that strategically purchased t-shirts from the junior’s section at Target are cheaper and work just as well as “maternity” t-shirts. Same with roll-over pants and skirts – you don’t need maternity versions of these stretchy wonders! A little advice for you ladies-who-might-be-pregnant-someday out there – buy your maternity clothes as you need them. Otherwise, you end up with some giant shirts you buy at week 15, assuming they’ll fit in a few months. THEY ARE STILL GIGANTIC. Learn from me, ladies.

Also, my poor quality Photobooth photo of my new (non-maternity swimsuit top – which covers up my new cleavage, but is still adorable. And was $5!):

Stretch marks? Not yet, but I’ve got a fully popped belly button.

Sleep: Not too bad – my body has definitely adjusted to pregnancy much better than the first trimester. Amen. I've mastered the nighttime roll-over with four pillows and don’t wake up for two hours at 3am anymore. Thank you, body.

Movement: Thumps, kicks, jabs, and spins. I swear, he’s booty bumping in there. I can see him moving now through my shirt, which is pretty surreal. Isn’t it odd how much fetuses move, but newborn babies are pretty much lumps on a log? I’m also pretty sure I’ve felt his hiccups for the first time. Not positive, though.

Food cravings: I’ve been trying to increase my protein a LOT (70-80 grams a day) – so I’ve been eating (and craving!) string cheese, almonds, yogurt, black beans, protein bars, cottage cheese, and, uh, pizza.

What I miss: A belly button that doesn’t look like a nipple. And not knowing what heartburn feels like. And not being frustrated with the medical field and all its hyper-cautiousness and over-testing. (My feelings on the matter: blerg. Also: $)(@)#^**(@#&^*%)!!!!)

What I am looking forward to: I’m going to the beach this weekend. Although the weather is gorgeous here, I am looking forward to relaxing for eight days straight. Pregnancy-wise – there is nothing I’m really looking forward to. This pregnancy is flying by, and I am scrambling to figure out how we’re moving in 34 days and how this baby will be here by the end of the summer. And I’ve really enjoyed pregnancy for the most part – once the nausea subsided, being pregnant has been mostly sunshine and rainbows (though, certainly not all sunshine.)

Milestones: My last pair of pre-pregnancy pants can no longer be buttoned. And my belly button it firmly out. There is no going back; it pokes through most of what I wear. My stomach is undeniably a pregnant lady’s stomach. I also experienced my first leg and ankle swelling two weeks ago. Thankfully there is no more of that right now.

Oh, and THIS: This is completely vain and silly, but I didn’t expect to feel fat. Being petite and having a rounded stomach means some shirts can make me look just plain large. I know, this is probably RIDICULOUS, but as much as I love being pregnant – I don’t love this weird self-consciousness that has resulted from clothes fitting so differently.

 Photo by Erin Parker.

Twenty-Three & Twenty-Four.

How far along? 24 weeks.

How big is baby? Growing and stuff. After the initial excitement with all! The! Growing! the baby will sort of just plod along happily, growing steadily. He’s about a foot and a pound, give or take a bit. Papaya-sized, apparently.

Total weight gain: +12 lbs. I'm starting to feel BIG. (And there are still 16 weeks of growing!)

Maternity Clothes? Yes. I’m currently lusting after these  – I have the khaki version and now they are on SALE.  Also! You guys, I had the greatest idea ever - I've been using my belly band as a sort of tank top under low-cut shirts that doesn't bunch up or add bulk. (I got the idea after I saw these on The View.) Shirts that used to be perfectly classy are suddenly inappropriate thanks to this annoying cleavage - not anymore!

Stretch marks? No. Though I did have a mini-freak out about a mark on my boob. (It’s all good – just an imprint from my bra. Calm down, everyone. Or, just me.)

Sleep: Good enough – my standards of good sleep are definitely adjusting, which is actually a good thing, as I’m able to function without having to get eight hours of sleep straight now. This will come in handy in a few months, I imagine.

Movement: Pretty much all the time. It’s still really awesome, but I think I’m so used to it now that it can be almost distracting. I just want to spend the time to enjoy feeling him move, but instead I have things to do. Like, what’s that about? Psh. Life is getting in the way. My little sister, Emmie, and Mike both got to experience a few kicks this weekend – which is nice, because I want to share what it’s like. I want to be all, “See?? He totally kicks! All the time! I’m not making things up!” I can tell that he’s growing, because the movement is getting higher – it used to always be around my lower belly, but now I’m getting some action near my ribs and belly button.

Food cravings: Instant oatmeal, these gems, and various other sweet things. Particularly vanilla frozen yogurt with chocolate chips and peanut butter. Yum.

What I miss: Not using a billion pillows to sleep at night. Waking up all night long to shove pillows between my knees, under my head, and various other places is tiring. If I decide to turn over (which I do a dozen times a night), it's a Big Ordeal. By the time I've actually made the move from left to right, I can't fall back asleep. Before getting married, I was a one pillow kinda girl - now I'm a four pillow kinda girl. I am getting greedy.

What I am looking forward to: Going to the beach. In a mere SEVENTEEN DAYS. I don’t care if I’m pale and round, I am going to be SO RELAXED afterwards. Last year was a ton of fun, and I expect this year to be equally awesome. (Not really pregnancy related, but sort of because I have a question to ask you about it. SEE BELOW.)

Milestones: I joked about baby’s first trip to a bar, since we went to one for my friend’s birthday (don’t worry, no smoking Ohio’s bars). I also had my first baby shower, which turned out to be just delightful. Lots of delicious food, fun people, and adorable baby clothes made for a wonderful party. And my fears about attention? I mostly received money as gifts, so there were very few gifts to open. Less pressure! Score. I also received my first Happy Mother’s Day wishes and even got an (amazing!) gift from my husband. AND we made our very first baby-related purchase! An infant carrier was on sale for $20 at Babysteals. When it arrived, I promptly ran into the bathroom and modeled it in front of the mirror, imaging a little baby tucked inside. It's awesome.

Oh, and THIS: Gas. That's all I have to say about that. (If you know me? Pretend like I never said this. It'd just be awkward.)


SEND HALP: Like I said, I'm going to the beach soon. I'm not sure what to do about beach wear - should I just wear my bikini like normal (it's not a string bikini by any means - more of a v-neck halter) even though I have a big belly now? Should I spend the money to get a proper maternity swimsuit? Or just a swimsuit top to go with my regular bottoms? Part of me cringes at the idea of spending money on a swimsuit that I'll only wear a few times. Another part of me cringes at the idea of how The Public will react to seeing my swollen bare belly parading around. You tell me, WHAT SHOULD I DO? I am not above putting a poll in here. I cannot figure out how to put a poll IN the post, so just vote over there in my sidebar - okay? 

Twenty-One & Twenty-Two.

 Twenty-one (ish) weeks.

[I’ve decided to do updates every other week now that I’m halfway there – there are less big milestones and more “my belly continues to grow and I continue to eat nachos” business. Get excited. I know I am.]

How far along? 22 weeks, 1 day.

How big is baby? Eleven inches. And somewhere just over a pound. The size of an eleven-inch ruler.

Total weight gain: + TEN lbs. (I now weigh 114 lbs. Which is approximately how much I weighed when I worked at Cold Stone for two months. I’m really hoping to keep my weight gain donut-eating in check to avoid stretch marks!) 

Maternity Clothes? Most of my shirts (especially my form-fitting t-shirts) are no longer wearable – they are too short to cover my belly and the top of my maternity pants. Sadness. I am already getting tired of my three pairs of maternity pants. I wear my two pairs of khakis nearly all week long to work. Four more months of khakis?

Stretch marks? Not yet- though my skin is feeling pretty taut. Eeep! Let’s hope my skin is elastic enough to make it work.

Sleep: There were a few really rough day of sleep – my lower back was in incredible pain – but I made a few adjustments (no more high heels and lots more yoga), and am happy to say I am again in love with sleeping! It’s amazing how much of a difference sleep can make – and I’m so lucky to be sleeping (mostly) through the night. (For now. I am very aware things may change.)

Movement: Lots of it – and I still love it. My new hobby could be lying on the couch with my hand on my belly, feeling the baby kick and squirm. I just get an overwhelming desire to hold him and comfort him. That will be the awesomest, you know? I’m also starting to notice he’s developing a sleeping schedule. Just as I lay down to take a nap last week, he woke up – kicking and wriggling so much  I couldn’t sleep. After about fifteen minutes of ninja action, he quieted down and I got to sleep.

Food cravings: A maple frosted, cream filled donut. Amazingly glorious. Nom. And only eighty-five cents from the cute bakery on my way to school. Maple cream sticks used to be my favorite treat as a child. My dad knew this and would be sure to get me one when he’d surprise us all with a box of donuts on a weekend morning. Mmm, donuts… (Mike told me pregnancy has turned me into Homer Simpson. I’d prefer to be Lisa –my cartoon soul mate.) (Now I want another donut.)

What I miss: Not wearing khakis. Have I mentioned I have three pairs of work pants? TWO OF WHICH ARE KHAKI PANTS. I also miss not being an emotional roller coaster. One minute, I’ll be content and happy, the next anxious and wracked with worry. I actually cried one night this week because I was afraid to get into bed after my back hurt so badly the night before. It’s really not a fun roller coaster. Though, I don’t imagine mothering a newborn will be any less roller coaster-y.

What I am looking forward to: Again, I'm pretty content. I mean, it will be nice to wear cute, belted dresses and go for a run again, but I am not disillusioned - life with a baby won't be all cute clothes and time for running.

Milestones: My belly feels big and sort of stretched out or swollen this week – I haven’t felt like my belly has really gotten in the way until recently. (It probably has something to do with my favorite t-shirt not covering the top of my jeans. I may or may not have worn it anyway.) I also got to see the baby moving during the last ultrasound - which led to some tearing up on my part.

Oh, and THIS: There are some positive side effects of pregnancy you hear about – longer nails! Thicker hair! Bigger boobs! Well, I am happy to say that I have enjoyed that last one, but have yet to see any evidence of those first two (not that I want thicker hair – mine has enough volume for three girls). I am happiest of all to tell you that I have had NOT ONE BLEMISH on my skin during the past few months. I’ve never had terrible skin, but I’m loving the lack of even the occasional pimple. (Though there were the two GIANT cold sores when I first got pregnant – thanks, hormones.) Not mention the whole feeling-a-person-grow-inside-of-you part – that is pretty awesome, too.

[Also, small update on the baby’s health for those interested in the nitty-gritty details - the blood work came back negative for Down’s syndrome, but positive (and by “positive” I mean there is a 1-in-180 chance) for neural tube defects. The perinatologist said he got a good look at the spine during the ultrasound and saw no problems. So it’s likely a false positive, but I get to go back in nine weeks to get another ultrasound to be sure the baby is growing. I am not worried, just a bit annoyed with it all! I avoided the testing in the first place because of the high rate of false positives with prenatal testing – I didn’t want to worry for no reason. Ironic. I know modern medicine is miraculous and does a lot of wonderful things, but at this point – it’s just caused me more worrying than comfort.]

Twenty.

Preface (can you have a preface to a blog post? I guess this is more like an epilogue on my last post. Either way – I am giving this far too much thought): Thank you very, very much for your kind words, prayers, and support. I felt the love from all over the world and have been blessed with a deep sense of peace, and even joy! in these past few days. Also – I was relieved to get the information in the mail from my midwife. It indicated the problem and the test I was to have. The most beautiful part, though? “Priority: Routine.” A smile broke out of my face when I read that. Routine! That has to mean something good, right?

How far along? 20 weeks, 3 days.

How big is baby? As big as a butternut squash – 10.5 ounces and 10 inches tall (or long, but that sounds a little odd – I know babies are measured in length but it sounds WEIRD.). Apparently the baby was being measured from its head to bottom and is now going to be measured from head to heel. It feels odd to think about nearly a FOOT of baby inside of me. Woah.

Total weight gain: + 7 lbs. (My BabyCenter email this week said, “You’ve probably gained 10 lbs by now.” I screamed at my computer, “I AM TRYING!” and then ate a brownie.)

Maternity Clothes? Check out my new jeans from Gap. LOVE. Love so much I will never take them off. Except to go to work and sleep. I love the way they look – it doesn’t hurt that Mike tells me they make my boot-ay look fine. (Okay, so maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that.) A stretchy waist is seriously the stuff of miracles – they are comfortable and hide my muffin top. Win.

Stretch marks? No. But I did remove my belly button ring because it was poking out through my shirts quite a bit since my belly button is nearly flat. So odd.

Sleep: I had a dream two nights ago that my sisters and I were hanging out; my belly started visibly wiggling and shaking because the baby was moving so much. My sisters were completely freaked out. I woke up and the baby was indeed kicking like crazy. At three in the morning. I also have started waking up out of hunger in the middle of the night a bit more again. Pregnancy is weird, man.

Movement: I love that I can feel him kick whenever I want – I just have to wait a few minutes and pay attention. It’s mostly kicks – sometimes soft and sometimes not so soft – but I swear I felt an elbow or knee the other day. It was so bony and sharp! This is probably my favorite thing about pregnancy so far – feeling the baby move and kick inside of me. I love it. So much.

Food cravings: A brownie with frozen yogurt. Cheese with crackers. Cheese with fruit. Cheese with cheese.
What I miss: Not worrying about something ALL THE TIME. I figured being a parent would mean I’d worry about a lot of things – but I didn’t realize it was going to be like this already.

What I am looking forward to: Obviously, our ultrasound next week – getting some answers and figuring out what is going on with the little one. Optimistically, I’m looking forward to being a bit less worried.

Milestones: Uh…First Bad News? First time I haven’t been treated like I have a normal first pregnancy? Does this count as a milestone? How about emailing the WHOLE SCHOOL to tell them, yes, I am pregnant and, no, my giant stomach isn’t a recent weight gain? How about talking to my work about things like maternity leave and my work schedule next year for the FIRST TIME? It was a week of scary milestones, I think.

Oh, and THIS: Did you know your nose bleeds more often while pregnant? True story. It’s because of extra blood now in your body and the resulting swollen blood vessels. It’s pretty fun, the stuff they don’t tell you beforehand. I will be the bearer of weird pregnancy news, my friends who have never been pregnant. It’s a bizarre land and I will be your guide. You’re welcome.

Nineteen.

 Tired of photos of just me. So: sister, cousin, me, cousin, sister. Don't judge me for wearing the same dress as last week, mmkay?

How far along? 19 weeks, 3 days. (My due date was moved up a day to August 31st, Mike's birthday!)

How big is baby? 16 centimeters and 9 ounces. NINE OUNCES. Which, according to my postage scale, is heavier than my camera lens but lighter than two seasons of Friends.  Helpful.

Total weight gain: + 6lbs (or seven - my scale isn't the most accurate. Heh.)

Maternity Clothes? I've been on spring break this week, so I've been living in yoga pants and capri exercise bottoms with t-shirts. It's been delightful. And I'm sure Clinton and Stacy would be proud. Right.

Stretch marks? Not yet. Though I am starting to fear those - I saw a new mom's stomach...and oh boy. I am scared.

Sleep: Aside from waking up early this morning thanks lots of baby movement, then spilling a glass of water on my way to the kitchen to grab a Clifbar because I was ravenous, it hasn't been too terrible, actually.

Movement: KICKING! I've felt definite, distinct movement in my belly that is more than just flutters. It sort of feels like a twitch - because I don't know it's coming. It also reminds me of a really strong heartbeat or something. It's hard to explain, but it is just the coolest thing ever. It makes this much more real - more real than the ultrasound photos, even.  Last night, Mike got to feel the baby kick when he was holding his iPod up my stomach to introduce Bebe to some music. The baby thumped at the iPod several times. It was pretty much awesome.

Food cravings: Alfredo sauce, mini ice cream Drumsticks, Ben and Jerry's, fruit smoothies, and ketchup (not alone - but anything that you can eat with ketchup? I want it.) Going to the grocery store always ends with lots of impulse purchases. And I go with it, because really? When will I get this chance again to eat so much food?

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach without fear of crushing the baby. Now that I can fell him kicking, I'm ridiculously concerned that if I move too suddenly I'll hurt him. It's silly, but I can't help but picture him in there, all fragile.

What I am looking forward to:  I am really happy with how things are going right now - I'm terrified of getting huge and the actual birth - so let's just freeze time so I can stay this pregnant for the entire pregnancy.  Then the baby can just float out of my belly while I sleep. Sound good? 

Milestones: Ultrasound and finding out the sex. We both felt the baby kick for the first time. Pretty big milestones. 

Oh, and THIS: I smell. All the time. It's bad news. Let's not talk about it. Except let's because I feel like a freak.

Eighteen.

$10 Target dress from the junior's section. Oh heck yes. Should do something about my ridiculous pallidness.

How far along? 18 weeks, 2 days. (You become oddly specific about these things when you're pregnant. I usually don't know what day of the week it is. But I know how pregnant I am!)

How big is baby? The size of an baked potato (about 5.5 inches, weighing about 7 ounces - way to gain 2 ounces, Bebe!) (After I heard this, I promptly craved potatoes and made myself some for dinner. Is that wrong?)

Total weight gain: + 5 lbs. (still. even after my french fries and milkshake lunch yesterday.)

Maternity Clothes? Heck. Yes. These pants are currently my favorite things in existence. Not feeling sloppy is worth the money. I love how they fit and are comfortable.

Stretch marks? Nada. Can I interest you in some cellulite?

Sleep: Much improved this week.  This week, the whole "the second trimester is the best!" thing actually is starting to ring true. I have hardly been nauseous, I have slept through the night a few times, and I haven't woken up ravenous in the middle of the night. (This might also be because I have been eating a LOT. Either way: Score!)

Movement: Quite a bit - still feels more like butterflies or when your stomach drops (you know, on a roller coaster? which I can no longer enjoy now?) than an actual baby, but I still imagine little arms flailing about. Then I start to wonder if the baby sort of just floats in there, or how the heck it works. Seriously. This is just crazy. Mike and I also talk about the baby's movement - as in "The baby's moving!" "That's because it's trying to kick you for being mean to me." Already using our child as a way to get to each other. What wonderful parents we'll make.

Food cravings: Food, glorious food. Seriously - not being nauseous this week has been AWESOME. Also, I started drinking coffee daily this week - instead of just now and then. And it's just as delicious and wonderful as I'd remembered.

What I miss: I'm sort of really content right now, which is odd. And awesome. My belly is present without being in the way too much. I feel good. I am happy. It took some brain wracking to realize that I miss doing the upward dog yoga pose.

What I am looking forward to: Our ultrasound is Tuesday! We get to see our baby for the first time - the last time (eleven weeks ago) it was really just a blob with a flickering heartbeat. This time - it should have a head, arms, and all sorts of body parts. I'm so excited to see him/her!

Milestones: The girls at school know. My first "you must be pregnant" comment from a complete stranger. Officially have gone up two bra sizes (and down in my band size. odd.). Wearing my first maternity pants out in public. Beginning to actually talk about baby names.

Oh, and THIS: Insanely fast-growing hair is fun in some places but NOT OTHERS. I swear I've plucked my eyebrows approximately 10 times as much as normal. I'm like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause. Hot.

Seventeen.

I saw this on this blog and loved the idea. Since I measure my life in weeks, now - I'll be keeping track of things here on my blog. Because, really? I've been terrible with my attempt at a pregnancy journal. You'll just be subjected to my rambling each week. My apologies in advance.

How far along? 17 weeks.

How big is baby? The size of an onion (about 5 inches, weighing about 5 ounces). 

Total weight gain: + 5 lbs. 

Maternity Clothes? Oh, I posted about this. Remember? It was dramatic and a bit of a break own? Well, I’m wearing the heck out of the one long sleeve maternity shirt I bought (mostly because it’s long enough to cover up the fact that my pants aren’t buttoned) and my belly band. OH, my belly band. I would not be dressed if it weren’t for this thing. Or I’d be wearing yoga pants every single day. 

Stretch marks? Nope. Hope I won’t get any for a while!

Sleep: Nope. Wait, you want to know about how I’m sleeping? I usually go to bed, sleep for four hours, and then am wide awake for an hour and fruitlessly trying to fall back asleep until about 15 minutes before I wake up. I know this is “practice” for having a baby, but I’m going to have a miracle baby that sleeps through the night right from birth. I don’t need to practice. 

Movement: Yes! I felt the first movement the day before I was 16 weeks, but then not much until yesterday. I sort of have to concentrate to know that I’m feeling a BABY in there. It’s fun and a wee bit odd to imagine a tiny little being living inside of me. It becomes more real instead of just an idea.

Food cravings: Chips and salsa, French fries, and cereal. As usual. 

What I miss: Sleeping. Not having to eat protein bars in the middle of the night because I am famished.

What I am looking forward to: My maternity pants from Gap arriving. I am so ready for some elastic waistedness!

Milestones: I heard the heartbeat again yesterday – so I’m finally getting a bit more comfortable sharing the news with cowokers. (Still not totally into telling people. I don’t know if that makes me weird.)

Oh, and THIS: My upper lip is suddenly allergic to my water bottle spout – I have to unscrew the lid and drink from bottle (I have this bottle) or else I get a nasty flaky rash on my upper lip. SO WEIRD.